Podbit · TED Talks Daily
When James returned to work after Nadav's death, colleagues who recognized his Jewish name organized a daily minyan — a group of ten needed to say the Kaddish prayer. Every day for a month, a stranger met him in the lobby. They walked five blocks. He told them Nadav's story. By the end, they were in tears. He was comforting them.
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At 43:48 · chapter starts 41:10
James shares that the thing he had always feared most wasn't Nadav's death but the act of telling his brothers. When it happened, he found he had the words — because Nadav's life had taught him that some things are simply beyond explanation, and that telling the truth is enough. He also describes the unexpected power of Jewish mourning rituals: the Kaddish prayer requires a minyan — ten people — three times a day. When he returned to work, colleagues who recognized Nadav as a Jewish name organized this community for him. Every day for a month, a stranger met him in the lobby. They walked five blocks to the synagogue. He told them Nadav's story. By the end of each walk, they were in tears. He was comforting them. The exercise taught James that grief has the power to surface other people's buried pain — and that the world, at its core, is full of kindness.
In Jewish mourning tradition, the Kaddish prayer must be said three times a day with nine other people (a minyan), a ritual that forced communal support during James's grief.
Two and a half years ago, Robinson published his memoir — primarily for Nadav's brothers, so they could one day understand what their father experienced. But the book became something else: a tool for changing how doctors talk to families. His message to physicians isn't soft. It's blunt: admit what you don't know, and say it in a way that's reassuring, not devastating.
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