Quote · The Rest Is Politics: US
The Secret To Asking For A Pay Raise (Mika Brzezinski)
Where this was said
Pay Raise Role Play: The Right and Wrong Ways
At 38:02 · chapter starts 34:20
Katty opens with the statistics: 60% of women have never asked for a pay raise, fewer entry-level women than men want promotion, and when women do ask, they ask for less. She then invites Mika to role-play the conversation live. What follows is a vivid lesson in what not to do. [1] — Mika Brzezinski "Mika acts out three ways she actually asked for pay raises — and failed. The apologetic approach, the personal-expenses sob story, and the …" 34:20 The apologetic opener — sorry to bother you, I know everyone's cutting budgets, I'm so sorry — collapses at the first resistance. The personal expenses pitch — clothes, makeup, my mum, my dog — is promptly dismissed as 'whiny.' The aggressive male imitation — poking the boss's chest and demanding a raise — spectacularly backfired. Then Mika recounts what actually worked: calling her boss Phil a bad boyfriend, delivering a calm ultimatum with genuine humour but complete resoluteness, and being truly prepared to walk. She is clear: you cannot bluff this. The ultimatum only works when you mean it.
Mika acts out three ways she actually asked for pay raises — and failed. The apologetic approach, the personal-expenses sob story, and the aggressive finger-poke at the boss. All three backfired spectacularly and for the same reason: none of them came from a grounded sense of self-worth.
After years of being underpaid, Mika told her boss he had become like a bad boyfriend — she was doing everything and getting nothing in return. She gave him an ultimatum: pay her fairly or she walks. She was ready to follow through. That's what made it work.
At 27, you will probably hear no. That's not a failure — it's the first move in a longer game. Go in with your list of accomplishments (A through G), state clearly what you want, and go back every three to six months, adding to the list. The no is just the opening bid.
