Fin vs History

Podbit · Fin vs History

The Timeless Comedy of Baking Dwarves Into Pies | Peter The Great

Explore episode Jul 27, 2026

Where this was said

The Beard Tax

At 39:48 · chapter starts 39:28

The Streltsy have risen again in 1698, trying to restore traditional Moscow and Sophia's rule. Peter returns from Europe, and the response is overwhelming: over 1,200 guards are executed — Peter personally wielding an axe — and their corpses are displayed outside the convent where Sophia is confined, permanently ending her political relevance. The Westernisation drive is now in full swing. Peter begins grabbing scissors and cutting off his nobles' beards without warning, because beards represent Orthodox conservatism and the German aesthetic is clean-shaven. Anyone who refuses to shave must pay a beard tax. Fin riffs on the Schrödinger's nature of his own beard ('we don't know what's under there'), before the segment pivots back to Europe.

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