Podbit · Modern Wisdom
Even self-identified feminist women consistently told Daniel Cox in interviews and surveys that they want men to open doors, pay for dates, and show demonstrable care. The internet noise around 'benevolent sexism' drowns out this widespread, quietly held preference.
Where this was said
At 17:48 · chapter starts 17:45
Cox reports one of his most striking qualitative findings: when he talked to young women — including self-identified feminists — they consistently said they wanted men to demonstrate chivalrous care: opening doors, paying for dates, checking in on feelings. The internet's loudest voices on benevolent sexism have obscured this widely held, quietly expressed preference. Williamson pushes back productively, asking about the underlying belief structure: if a woman says she doesn't need a man, but would like him to treat her as vulnerable, there is a real logical tension there. Cox sidesteps the philosophical trap by reframing it practically — his wife could take the trash out, but he does it because she doesn't like it. The larger point, he argues, is that men acting pro-socially in public isn't about vulnerability; it's about civic decency toward anyone who needs a little accommodation. Williamson responds with a sharp observation: for the past decade, the cultural message to men has been almost entirely restrictive — mansplaining, manspreading, too much, too aggressive — with almost no positive aspirational script. Cox agrees, and the segment closes on Williamson articulating the social cocktail facing young men: approach anxiety, social underexposure, contradictory signals, and no clear role. [1] — Daniel Cox "Even self-identified feminist women consistently told Daniel Cox in interviews and surveys that they want men to open doors, pay for dates,…" 17:48
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