Podbit · We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson
Hours before Jake Hall died, he posted 'Remember the good things' on Instagram. Missé believes he wanted to be remembered for his love, his creativity, and how hard he fought the internal voice that tormented him.
Where this was said
At 1:31:20 · chapter starts 1:22:10
Missé was supposed to be in Ibiza for a magazine cover shoot, but a lost passport changed everything. Unable to fly back to England, she was sent by police to the Swedish embassy in Mallorca — meaning she spent the night on the same island as Jake without either of them knowing. She woke to 10 missed calls. Her first fear was that something had happened to River. When Jake's father said it was Jake, she heard the weight in his voice before the word arrived. What followed was total collapse: guilt, panic, grief for River, grief for Jake's family — especially his mother, father, and brother, whose loss she understood intimately from her own experience. [1] — Missé Beqiri "Missé Beqiri was stranded in Mallorca after losing her passport — not knowing that Jake Hall was also there and dying that very night. She …" 1:24:50 The days that followed brought the strange comfort of strangers' support and the strange pain of watching her daughter grieve a father she adored. She speaks about Jake's final Instagram post — 'Remember the good things' — with a tenderness that suggests she has thought about it every day since. [2] — Missé Beqiri "Hours before Jake Hall died, he posted 'Remember the good things' on Instagram. Missé believes he wanted to be remembered for his love, his…" 1:31:20 The funeral, just a week before this recording, was a celebration by intention: because that is what Jake would have wanted, and because Missé has learnt, from losing her brother, that burying grief only delays the pain. [3] — Missé Beqiri "Both Missé and Paul had been furious at the people they lost. Missé explains that the anger isn't resentment — it's love that has no outlet…" 1:32:40
Jake Hall was 35 years old when he died, with his whole life ahead of him according to Missé.
Missé Beqiri was stranded in Mallorca after losing her passport — not knowing that Jake Hall was also there and dying that very night. She only found out when she woke to 10 missed calls the next morning, and her first thought was that something had happened to her daughter River.
Missé says the love between Jake Hall and their daughter River was 'insanity' — a word she uses almost with awe. Whatever friction existed between her and Jake, it dissolved the moment he was with River. That bond is what makes the loss most devastating.
Missé was unknowingly in Mallorca — the same location as Jake — the night he died, having been stranded there after losing her passport.
Missé doesn't just grieve Jake Hall's death — she's haunted by the question of whether a single phone call could have changed everything. Knowing she was in the same city that night makes the silence unbearable.
Hours before he died, Jake Hall posted on Instagram: 'Remember the good things.'
Most people confuse things they value instrumentally (because they get them other things) with things they value intrinsically (for their own sake). Greenberg's friend stayed in a miserable relationship for years because she was living by her parents' values, not her own — the values map made the mismatch instantly visible.
Jungian analyst James Hollis distills a good life to four things: shut up (have gratitude, stop whining), suit up (prepare yourself to fulfill a role), show up (do the actual work in service of others), and daily get out of stimulus-response to ask what your deeper wish actually is. The whole landscape of self-help slots into just these four bins.
Toward the end of their 20s, many men discover that all the strategies that earned them recognition and success have stopped working. It's a second adolescence — more important than the first — where the question shifts from 'how do I play the game?' to 'who do I actually want to become?' Most people going through it look fragile from the outside. They're actually building a foundation.
Boys are told from childhood not to cry, not to feel, not to be weak — but anger gets a pass. The result: a generation of men who reroute every emotion, including sadness and fear, through the only acceptable channel. Emotional avoidance isn't toughness, it's misdirected sensitivity.
Men need a 'bank account' of masculine status — muscle, money, success — before society grants them permission to express vulnerability. Chris Bumstead can cry at the Olympia and get celebrated. A struggling nobody doing the same thing gets contempt. This creates a tragic paradox where the men who most need emotional support get the least of it.
Emotional sensitivity isn't a defect — it's a high-resolution scanner for human experience. Highly sensitive people pick up body language, tone, and unspoken tension that others miss entirely. In the right environment, that's not a liability. It's a superpower.
Her supervisor told her she was too emotional for the pediatric ICU. So she asked herself: 'What area of medicine can I cry in?' That question led her to psychiatry. Finding the environment that holds your emotional sensitivity isn't retreat — it's strategy.
For someone with RSD, ghosting isn't ambiguity — it's a self-verdict. Their brain doesn't read 'this relationship ended,' it reads 'I am the reason this failed.' No closure means the brain fills the gap with evidence of personal insufficiency, and it keeps filling indefinitely.
More freedom doesn't produce more happiness — it produces more anxiety. Kierkegaard identified this 180 years ago: the more options you have, the more you feel the 'dizziness of freedom,' a paralytic unease at having to choose any single one. The freest generation in history is, by his prediction, exactly the most anxious.
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