Podbit · Fin vs History
At nearly 50, Claudius married Valeria Messalina, who was just 18. She would go on to become one of the most notorious figures in Roman history. The hosts flag this as the setup for part two — calling Claudius the 'GOAT of getting cucked.'
Where this was said
At 51:00 · chapter starts 46:14
A question about Caligula's sexual excesses during cabinet meetings triggers a long and increasingly strange conversation about the porn industry, specifically about Ben Dover — a British adult film producer better known for his 'Kick-Ass Anal Adventures' series. Producer Charlie reveals that Ben Dover's son is actor Tiger Drew Honey from the BBC sitcom Outnumbered, and that he had been considering attending a porn conference to meet him. The hosts then debate whether making a 'beautiful, artistic' pornographic film would destroy the Fin vs History brand. Horatio muses about what video would cause the fastest drop in Patreon subscribers while acknowledging that people forget to cancel. Fin insists the Patreon is 'vulgar' because it now has too many members — there used to be an exclusivity that is now gone. The segment ends with a standard Patreon plug.
Caligula made his drooling, Tourette's-afflicted uncle Claudius consul — not out of respect, but to humiliate the Senate. Just as he made his horse a consul, Claudius was a living joke. But the joke had a plan.
Caligula appointed his disabled, drooling uncle Claudius as consul not out of respect but as a deliberate insult to the Roman Senate.
In 38 AD, the nearly 50-year-old Claudius married his third wife Valeria Messalina, who was only 18 years old.
Caligula is hacked to death by his own Praetorian Guard. Hiding behind a curtain, drooling and laughing involuntarily, is Claudius. The guard finds his feet poking out, drags him into the open — and instead of killing him, salutes him as the new emperor. Part 2 will explain why.
Rather than executing the cowering, drooling Claudius when they found him behind a curtain after Caligula's assassination, the Praetorian Guard instead saluted him as the new emperor.
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Oliver North traveled to Iran under the alias 'William P. Goode' with a fake passport. CIA Director William Casey allegedly gave him cyanide pills so he could kill himself rather than be tortured if captured. He returned safely and the deal moved forward.
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America secretly transferred 2,000 missiles and missile parts to Iran in 8 shipments over more than a year. Only 3 of 7 hostages were released. Three more were taken. The net result was zero freed hostages and a full-blown constitutional scandal.
On October 5, 1986, a CIA Contra supply plane flew a weapons drop at 2,500 feet in broad daylight. A Sandinista soldier shot it down. The only survivor, Eugene Hasenfuss, had borrowed a parachute from his skydiving brother. He was captured, paraded in front of cameras, and told the Sandinistas everything he knew.
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