Quote · Fin vs History
The Timeless Comedy of Baking Dwarves Into Pies | Peter The Great
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At 15:29 · chapter starts 14:44
The 1682 Moscow uprising is where the episode hits its darkest and most vivid stretch. Horatio recounts how it all started on the Red Stairs of the Kremlin: a Streltsy leader came out to send the mob home but delivered his message with too much attitude, and was immediately thrown onto their pikes. What followed were days of massacres — impalement, beheading, reportedly stamping on children's limbs. Peter the Great, aged 9, hid in a cupboard and only survived because the door was left slightly ajar, making it look already searched. He emerged days later, shaking, and never really stopped shaking. [1] — Fin Taylor "A 9-year-old Peter the Great hid in a cupboard for days while the Streltsy massacred his family on the Kremlin's Red Stairs. He survived by…" 13:28 Fin deadpans: 'He wasn't fine.' His permanent facial tics date from this moment — and so, arguably, does the entire shape of modern Russia.
After the Streltsy massacre, the two surviving boys — 9-year-old Peter and his mentally disabled half-brother Ivan V — were crowned co-tsars. Their older sister Sophia ran the country as regent, accused of being a man in a dress. Peter was meant to be grateful.
