Fin vs History

Podbit · Fin vs History

The Timeless Comedy of Baking Dwarves Into Pies | Peter The Great

Explore episode Jul 27, 2026

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At 17:53 · chapter starts 14:44

The 1682 Moscow uprising is where the episode hits its darkest and most vivid stretch. Horatio recounts how it all started on the Red Stairs of the Kremlin: a Streltsy leader came out to send the mob home but delivered his message with too much attitude, and was immediately thrown onto their pikes. What followed were days of massacres — impalement, beheading, reportedly stamping on children's limbs. Peter the Great, aged 9, hid in a cupboard and only survived because the door was left slightly ajar, making it look already searched. He emerged days later, shaking, and never really stopped shaking. Fin deadpans: 'He wasn't fine.' His permanent facial tics date from this moment — and so, arguably, does the entire shape of modern Russia.

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