Quote · Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon
"I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part One)
Where this was said
Critical Reminders Before We Begin
At 2:35 · chapter starts 1:36
Before a single question is posed, Dr. Solomon insists on clearing the ground. She asks listeners to adapt her frameworks to their own complexity, reminds them that podcast content is educational rather than therapeutic, and — most critically — draws a bright line: if reuniting could threaten mental, physical, or sexual health, or undermine recovery from a harmful relationship, the work is not reconciliation but continuing to build the new life already begun. The phrase 'high-wire act' signals that what follows demands full attention and genuine self-awareness, not casual application.
Before any framework applies, one thing must be true: getting back together cannot threaten your mental, physical, or sexual health, or your recovery from a harmful relationship. If it does, the work is not reconciliation — it's continuing to build the beautiful life you've already started.
Every breakup is an attachment injury — a breach in connection. That means any attempt to reconcile is literally building a new relationship on top of a prior wound, which is why getting back together demands more than good intentions.
Dr. Solomon argues every breakup is an attachment injury — a breach in connection — meaning any reconciliation is literally building a new relationship on top of a prior wound.
Dr. Solomon offers a 12-question RSA framework — six questions today, six next week — designed to guide both individual self-reflection and couple dialogue. The framework is explicit that these are not a checklist for judging your ex but a mirror for examining yourself and your shared relational dance.
Dr. Solomon presents a 12-question Relational Self-Awareness framework spread across two episodes to help people decide whether and how to get back together with an ex.
