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Talks on Love Playlist (5/5): Why friendship can be just as meaningful as romantic love | Rhaina Cohen
Where this was said
History's Deep Friendships: Ancient Rome to Sworn Brotherhood
At 7:08 · chapter starts 6:55
Rather than framing her subjects as pioneers, Cohen makes the historian's move: they're revivalists. In ancient Rome, close friends were called 'half of my soul' or 'the greater part of my soul' — language now exclusively associated with romantic love. [1] — Rhaina Cohen "Ancient Romans called friends 'half of my soul.' Sworn brotherhoods formalized platonic bonds across China, Jordan, and England. A century …" 06:55 Across China, Jordan, and England, the practice of sworn brotherhood formalized male friendships through ritual, turning them into legal and spiritual kin. Roughly a century ago, friends sat for portraits with bodies pressed close and arms wrapped around one another, physical intimacy that modern audiences would read as romantic. Cohen's point is subtle but powerful: the hierarchy that places romance above friendship is not a human universal — it's a historically recent and culturally specific construction, and we can construct it differently.
Ancient Romans called friends 'half of my soul.' Sworn brotherhoods formalized platonic bonds across China, Jordan, and England. A century ago, friends posed in tender embraces for portraits. The language of deep love for friends is ancient — romance stole it from us.
In ancient Rome, friends described each other as 'half of my soul' or 'the greater part of my soul' — language now reserved exclusively for romantic partners.
Across China, Jordan, and England, a practice called 'sworn brotherhood' involved male friends undergoing rituals to become brothers, showing deep platonic bonds are cross-cultural and ancient.
About a century ago, friends would sit for portraits with their arms wrapped around each other and bodies close — physical affection between friends that would now be read as romantic.
A man told his mother he had found emotional wholeness not in a romantic partner, but in his best friend — his platonic life partner — who moved across the country to live with him. His mother said she couldn't understand how you could be partners with someone you're not romantic with. That confusion is the whole problem.
A man told his mother he had found emotional wholeness in his best friend — his 'platonic life partner' — who had moved across the country to live with him since high school.
