Quote · We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson
Olivia Bowen: I Lost Myself After Giving Birth & What Love Island Never Showed
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Olivia Opens Up About Her Teenage Mental Health Struggles
At 28:25 · chapter starts 19:52
This is the chapter where Olivia's story becomes most raw and most important. From year seven, an intense and inexplicable shame overcame her at the idea of being seen eating: she would not join the lunch queue, could not put food on her own plate, and went full school days hungry. The feeling lasted her entire secondary school career and into her early twenties. Then, at around 14 or 15, the self-harm began — again driven not by a desire for attention, as Paul is careful to note, but by emotional overwhelm with no outlet. Olivia is visibly uncomfortable discussing it but insists on acknowledging it, both because it is in her book and because she wants to remove some of the shame that surrounds it. Crucially, she reveals this wasn't just a teenage phase: self-harm recurred as recently as a few years ago, during postnatal depression, shattering any assumption that her curated public life meant private recovery.
Something shifted in year seven and Olivia was suddenly gripped by an overwhelming shame around being seen eating. She wouldn't queue for food, wouldn't put a fork to her mouth in public, and went full school days hungry rather than let anyone watch her eat. This lasted her entire teenage years.
Olivia avoided eating in front of anyone from the start of secondary school until she entered Love Island, spanning her entire teenage years.
Olivia first self-harmed at around 14, overwhelmed by emotions she had no tools to process. What she hadn't told anyone is that it returned in her late 20s — in the middle of new motherhood, post-traumatic birth, and postnatal depression. The shame kept her silent for years.
Almost a third of 17–24 year olds have self-harmed. Among young people with a mental health condition, that rises to nearly 70%. UK incidents have tripled since 2000. And 83% do it to regulate painful emotions — not for attention. Olivia's reaction: an epiphany, because she had felt utterly alone for years.
Almost one third of 17 to 24 year olds have self-harmed or attempted to, according to Young Minds statistics cited in the episode.
Almost 70% of young people with a probable mental health condition have self-harmed or attempted to, according to data cited in the episode.
Incidents of self-harm in the UK increased from 3.8% in 2000 to 10% today, reflecting a dramatic rise over two decades.
An NHS survey found 83% of people who had self-harmed reported doing so to relieve feelings of anger, tension, anxiety or depression.
