50% divorce rate illusion
Gary John Bishop argues that roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce, but the remaining 50% are not necessarily happy — the bar for 'staying together' is simply too low.
Snapshot · The School of Greatness
Why You Tolerate a Relationship You Know Should End | Gary John Bishop
Explore episode
Jul 10, 2026
Where this was said
26 Years of Marriage: What Really Makes Love Last
At 40:29 · chapter starts 37:42
Lewis Howes asks Bishop directly what distinguishes deeply happy long-term relationships from those that merely survive. Bishop immediately challenges the premise of the surviving 50% — most, he suspects, are not happy, just tolerating. He observes that the bar has dropped so low that 'we get along' is considered a success, which is, as he deadpans, the same standard he has with the person who makes his coffee at Starbucks. He then uses his guitar playing as a model for relationship: you engage with it, you're curious about it, you want to get better at it, you like how it feels when something clicks. That active, generating engagement is what keeps any domain of life alive. Marriage is the same. You don't need to commit to the whole rest of your life — just today. It's moment to moment.
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