Hurtful criticism: ugly comments from gay men
Jake Shane says comments calling him ugly come predominantly from other gay men and remain a constant presence despite his growing fame.
Snapshot · On Purpose with Jay Shetty
JAKE SHANE: “I Was Scared People Would Find Out Who I Am”
Explore episode
Jul 15, 2026
Where this was said
Living With Constant Criticism
At 50:15 · chapter starts 49:37
The conversation lightens as Jake and Jay trade dating red flags. Jake's are: someone who's seen too much of his show (nothing left to discover), men who lie, and anyone with terrible friends. Jay adds name-dropping and people who only talk about money or work. Jake then volunteers his most embarrassing dating story: plotting for three months to reconnect with a guy by pretending he'd just walked past the restaurant from their first date — while actually sitting in his hotel room with a friend. He planned it as a 72-hour fade-in, lasted one month. The segment closes with Jay's relationship communication framework: 72 hours is the baseline of respect for any reply, 7 days is the outer limit of tolerance, and beyond that you've signalled you don't want to see the person.
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