Snapshot · Modern Wisdom
Men score about one standard deviation higher than women on sociosexuality (interest in casual, no-strings-attached sex), meaning roughly two-thirds of randomly paired men will score higher than their female counterpart.
Where this was said
At 29:29 · chapter starts 29:02
Rather than dismissing sociocultural explanations, Stewart-Williams stress-tests them. Research in Western societies actually shows parents treat sons and daughters fairly similarly in key domains — equally encouraging independence and success. Behavioural genetics' second law (identical twins reared apart are often no more different as adults than those reared together) pulls the rug from claims about large parental effects. Then comes the centrepiece: the gender equality paradox [1] — Steve Stewart-Williams "Social role theory says patriarchy inflates sex differences. The data say the opposite. In the most gender-equal, least patriarchal societi…" 35:00 . Both social role theory and patriarchy theory predict that stricter gender norms and more patriarchal societies should amplify sex differences. The data consistently show the opposite — in more egalitarian, less patriarchal societies, differences in personality, career interests, and even physical traits like height actually tend to be larger. Stewart-Williams admits this surprised even him: he had expected patriarchy to push the sexes further apart. The sociocultural rebuttal — that sex-segregated societies skew self-report comparisons — is acknowledged but countered: the paradox also appears in objective cognitive and physical measures, not just personality surveys.
Social role theory says patriarchy inflates sex differences. The data say the opposite. In the most gender-equal, least patriarchal societies, sex differences in personality and career interests are consistently larger, not smaller. Nobody predicted this — including Stewart-Williams himself.
The deeper you go into sex differences, the more everything traces back to one thing: variance in offspring number is greater in males. When some males can have many offspring and others have none, selection becomes intense — for aggression, status-seeking, risk-taking, and interest in multiple partners. Females, with a lower ceiling, evolve to be choosier.
In more gender-equal, less patriarchal societies, sex differences in personality, career preferences, and some cognitive abilities tend to be larger, not smaller — the opposite of what social role theory predicts.
Critics of the gender equality paradox argue that sex-segregated societies skew self-report data. Stewart-Williams fires back: the paradox also appears in cognitive abilities like spatial reasoning and even in physical traits like height — not just personality surveys. The critique doesn't land.
The widely cited ego-depletion model — the idea that willpower is a finite resource that gets depleted — failed to replicate in follow-up studies.
Humans are estimated to have 5,000–7,000 thoughts per day, yet can recall essentially none of them afterward, highlighting why in-the-moment emotional tracking matters.
A large Harvard study found that a wandering mind is an unhappy mind — people report greater happiness when their attention is tethered to the present, even if the task is unpleasant.
A key study finding that we have a 'credit card's worth of plastic' in our bodies was likely skewed because researchers used nitrile gloves that shed plastic particles onto the microplastic detector.
Emotionally sensitive people have a hyperactive amygdala, an underactive prefrontal cortex, and a frayed connection between the two — making emotional regulation structurally harder.
Rejection sensitivity can be observed as early as age 2 or 3, suggesting it has strong developmental and likely genetic roots.
A Yale study found that non-judgmental observation of emotions — without rushing to resolve them — reduces activation in the brain, making it a powerful regulation tool.
Dan Gilbert's research found that the psychological immune system — the brain's ability to justify and find satisfaction in choices — activates most powerfully when a decision is perceived as irreversible.
Barry Schwartz's research found that maximizers — people who try to optimize every decision — tend to achieve objectively better outcomes but report lower happiness than satisficers who choose 'good enough.'
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