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Snapshot · Pardon My Take
Emergency Jaylen Brown Trade Reaction + Timm Woods And The Return Of Dungeons And Dragons
Explore episode
Jul 2, 2026
Where this was said
Dungeons and Dragons with Timm Woods
At 2:00:40 · chapter starts 45:27
The heist descends into glorious chaos. Greg rides his giant moth onto the bridge and lances Sidra, the scarred ex-marine guard captain who rolls a 19/20 on attractiveness. She holds her own, dealing sustained damage to Greg. Upstairs, Loud Trainwind hurls Erlich through two floors of the library using a reckless rage throw, landing him next to the magic circle — but a spectator eyeball monster paralyzes Erlich with a white beam and then hits Loud Trainwind with a confusion beam, causing him to attack his own teammates. Wayne the bard shoots a Fireball into the room, killing all four flying snakes but dealing 22 fire damage to the paralyzed Erlich and Loud Trainwind, then curses Erlich with illiteracy to prevent him from reading the spellbook. Silent Trainwind falls three stories into the garbage when the rope breaks, crashing onto the plague needle but avoiding injection by a dice roll. After group healing from Silent Trainwind and Greg's paladin smites bringing the Spectator to 2 hp, Wayne runs up the stairs, rolls a dirty 20 on Arcana, and opens the pocket dimension portal to claim Manshoon's spellbook.
Erlich Goes to Wizard School — and Wastes His One Question
Hank rolled a natural 20 on persuasion, earning free tuition to Blackstaff Academy wizard school and one question about Lord Manshoon. He asked about the villain's motivation — money — something everyone already knew from the Shredder-looking portrait.
Greg Gets a Hand — Literally
Greg the Paladin trapped the halfling chef Manafrit Cherryport in a Compelled Duel, then intimidated him into surrendering. As punishment, Greg cut off his ring hand to claim the ring controlling the tower's force field.
Silent Trainwind Buys a Plague Syringe
During his information-gathering turn, Zach's character Silent Trainwind stopped at a basement plague dealer in the Dock District and paid full price for a syringe of the deadliest magical virus available. He later accidentally released it into the city via a rat.
Loud Trainwind Throws Erlich Through the Tower
Out of options and too dumb to ask for directions, Loud Trainwind raged, then hurled Erlich (his gnome half-brother) up through three floors of the outer tower. He crashed through the library ceiling and landed next to the magic circle housing Manshoon's spellbook.
Wayne Fireballs the Room — Including His Ally
PFT's bard Wayne cast Fireball in the room, killing all four flying snakes but dealing 22 points of fire damage to the already-paralyzed Erlich. Then, to ensure Hank couldn't use the spellbook, Wayne cast Bestow Curse to make Erlich permanently illiterate.
Spellbook secured: Wayne the Bard
Wayne the Bard (PFT's character) successfully solved the Arcana puzzle and claimed Lord Manshoon's spellbook, the primary objective of the D&D session.
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