Speaker
Ashley
Appearances over time
1 episodes
Episodes
1
Podcasts
Quotes & moments
Ashley discovered approximately 18 half-siblings on Ancestry and 23andMe, all from the same unvetted sperm donor who was simply a friend of the doctor.
Ashley's biological father was not a vetted medical resident as her mother was told — he was just a friend of the doctor getting paid $20 per Dixie cup in the 1980s.
Ashley calculated that the $20 paid to the unvetted sperm donor in the 1980s is equivalent to approximately $61 in today's money.
After Ashley's closeted gay father passed away in 2017 and was cremated, the family lost his ashes for several years, only to find them in a guest room closet.
Ashley first discovered she was donor-conceived at age 12 through a biology class Punnett square assignment, when the blood type math didn't add up.
Dax admitted he responded to a sperm bank ad in the UCLA college newspaper around 1999–2000, wanting the money. He also admitted he may have omitted family cancer history from the health questionnaire. Fortunately, he was rejected for low sperm count — saving him from a very complicated future.
After Ashley's secretly gay father died in 2017, the family had him cremated and then — during a move — lost his ashes for several years. They were eventually found in the guest room closet. As Ashley put it: 'Even in death, my dad is still in a closet.'
A Punnett square in 7th grade biology kicked off Ashley's lifelong unpeeling of her family's secrets: she was donor-conceived, her father was secretly gay, and his ashes literally ended up lost in a closet for years. The wild part? The sperm donor was an unvetted friend of the doctor, paid $20 a Dixie cup, who left behind roughly 18 half-siblings on DNA sites.
A deathbed visit to Ashley's dying uncle surfaced the truth everyone had quietly accepted except Ashley's mom: her father's lifelong 'college roommate' was almost certainly his partner. They had dinner together for hours at a stretch until the night he brought Ashley's mother home. The secret had been silently understood within the family — for decades.
Standing at a London pharmacy surrounded by five family members all there to buy lice treatment, Shane spotted a bottle labeled for both head lice and genital crabs. He pretended to deliberate for 30 seconds, then calmly pointed to it: 'I think this one is better.' No one questioned it. He bought enough for the whole house.
Years after finding her half-sister, Jessica's family tracked down the half-brother her mother gave up in 1964. When Jessica's uncle saw a photo, he said: 'If we saw him on the street, we'd think he was one of our uncles.' Jessica met him in person at a Bob's Big Boy in Michigan — and says the family resemblance is undeniable.
The lesson from today's episode is blunt: DNA testing has made it nearly impossible to keep family secrets involving biological parentage. Ashley found 18 half-siblings. Jessica's half-sister cracked a 55-year-old closed adoption through 23andMe cousin matches. Dax's advice to past sperm donors: don't take the test, and whatever you do, don't check that box.
Seventeen years after faking the lice outbreak at his cousin's wedding, Shane's mother retold the story to his wife — who already knew the truth. Her verdict on the mysterious bug? 'These weren't normal lice we have here in Canada. They had bigger legs and much stronger.' The secret is intact.
Shane boarded a flight to his cousin's traditional Indian wedding in London in 2008 and discovered mid-flight, squeezed between his mom and a stranger, that he had crabs. Trapped in a tiny London home with 15 relatives, no car and no privacy, he devised a plan: move one crab to his arm, walk into the family room, and shout 'Oh my God, it's lice!'
Ten years after giving up her daughter for adoption, Jessica's mother named her own known daughter the exact same first and middle name — same spelling — as the adoptive parents had given the child she surrendered. She had no idea. When the half-sister revealed this, Jessica's mom was shaken. 'Did you know that was my name?' 'I had no idea.'
Ashley's mother found her father watching gay porn and he claimed he was accessing a Men's Health quiz link. When Ashley went to investigate his computer, what she found was unambiguous. Her father had a very specific type — and was a big Heath Ledger fan.
Shortly after her mother died in 2021, Jessica received a Facebook message from a stranger saying 'Hi, this is your sister.' It turned out her mother had secretly given up two children for adoption in the 1960s — a boy in 1964 and a girl in 1966 — before marrying. Her mother had even maintained a secret three-year relationship with the half-sister before dying, asking her to reach out after her death with the message: 'I hope they forgive me.'
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