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The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129

Explore episode Jul 27, 2026
Society & Culture
The Deadbeat Dad Narrative Is More Complicated Than You Think

The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Sa… · Jul 27, 2026 Society & Culture

Father absence peaked in 2005 when only 67% of US kids lived with a dad — down from 88% in 1960. But that number has since rebounded to 76%. The real picture is more nuanced: many non-residential fathers are deeply involved, and the binary of absent vs. present misses the many shades of paternal engagement.

Where this was said

The Truth Behind the Deadbeat Dad Narrative

At 33:51 · chapter starts 33:48

The 'deadbeat dad' narrative is partly true and largely oversimplified. Saxbe charts the data: in 1960, 88% of American kids lived with a father at home; that fell to a nadir of 67% in 2005 before rebounding to around 76% today — a U-shaped trend that the binary absent/present framing entirely misses. Many non-residential fathers are deeply involved in caregiving; the real variable is the degree of engagement, not a simple presence or absence. Saxbe makes the point personal, describing how her own parents' divorce led to her father transitioning from a relatively hands-off caregiver to a fully primary parent on alternating weeks. She closes the segment with the story of a man who spent 3 years in jail during his son's early childhood, reconnected through parenting classes, and now directs a Project Fatherhood programme at Homeboy Industries in LA — a testament to the dial's ability to be turned back up at any point.

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