SOLVED with Mark Manson

Podbit · SOLVED with Mark Manson

Solved, Answers: Finding Purpose, Failing Better, and the AI Future

Explore episode Dec 15, 2025
Society & Culture
How Mark Finally Got Over His First Heartbreak (Badly)

Solved, Answers: Finding Purpose, Failing Better, and the A… · Dec 15, 2025 Society & Culture

Mark's first heartbreak took 5 years and mostly involved drinking, reconnecting with his ex, and self-destruction. The turning point: channelling pure anger into the goal of making her breakup decision 'the worst she ever made.' That year he started the gym, applied himself in school, and got into meditation. He succeeded. He also no longer cares — which, he notes, is how you know you're over someone.

Where this was said

General Q&A: Would Mark Rewrite 'Models' Today?

At 51:40 · chapter starts 51:00

A question about rewriting Models in the MeToo era prompts a thoughtful personal audit. Mark went back and re-read the book when MeToo broke in 2017–18, expecting the worst. He was pleasantly surprised — a few crude phrasings needed tweaking but the core held up, and the subtitle 'Attract Women Through Honesty' kept him on the right side of the cultural line. The current man-woman tension feels different from MeToo and may prove to be a passing cultural moment rather than a permanent shift. But the one glaring gap is apps: when Models was published, online dating was a minor fraction of how people met. Today it's the majority, and Tinder didn't even exist at publication. If he revised the book, the major addition would be at least one full chapter on app-based dating. A decade of emails from women saying it's the best dating advice they've ever read — regardless of its male framing — remains one of the most unexpected outcomes of his career, and a female version of Models is something he thinks about but has never had time to write.

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