Podbit · Up First from NPR
Using strength to dominate and demean others isn't masculine — it's the act of a coward. Platner's version: lift weights, shoot guns, do combat deployments, AND go to therapy, be emotionally available, and stay open to being wrong.
Where this was said
At 26:23 · chapter starts 22:05
The interview turns to the controversies that have dogged Platner's campaign. Fadel notes that his old Reddit posts — which contained racist comments and language that blamed sexual assault on victims — came to light in October and many believed they would end his campaign. Platner's explanation is candid: the infantry is a hyper-masculine, intensely violent world where things considered virtues there are not considered virtues in the normal world, and he came out of it carrying much of that culture. He says he addressed it publicly at every town hall, answered every question, and that people in Maine have largely moved on. The tattoo — a skull-and-crossbones motif Platner says he got in 2007 that bears resemblance to an SS symbol — is a more technical argument: he's seen similar insignia on French Foreign Legion units, U.S. Special Forces ODAs, and other Marines, and he was screened for gang and hate tattoos multiple times during a military and State Department career that included a top-secret clearance and service on the ambassador to Afghanistan's security team. Massachusetts Congressman Jake Auchincloss called the tattoo disqualifying; Platner's response is to note that Auchincloss lives in Massachusetts, not Maine.
Platner's deleted Reddit posts with racist comments and victim-blaming about sexual assault surfaced in October — and he addressed them publicly at every town hall. His argument: the capacity to change is a basic human trait, and most Americans don't want their worst moments at 25 to define them forever.
More freedom doesn't produce more happiness — it produces more anxiety. Kierkegaard identified this 180 years ago: the more options you have, the more you feel the 'dizziness of freedom,' a paralytic unease at having to choose any single one. The freest generation in history is, by his prediction, exactly the most anxious.
Every person lives in constant tension between infinite possible selves and the finite, limited self they actually are. Tipping too far toward infinite possibility produces a loss of identity; too much confinement in the finite produces stagnation. Kierkegaard argued that this tension is never solved — only managed.
Standing outside a cold pool imagining reasons not to jump is the exact experience of pre-commitment anxiety. Once you jump, the shock passes and you wonder why you ever hesitated. The same mechanism governs every significant commitment in life — the dread is always on the outside, the relief on the inside.
Traditional societies had rites of passage that closed off childhood and opened adulthood. Modern society kept the in-between liminal phase but eliminated the ritual that resolved it. The result is 'emerging adulthood' — a decade or more stuck in the transition — engineered by rising education requirements, women entering the workforce, and delayed marriage.
When Mark Manson proposed to his wife, software he didn't know was running — the low-level assessment of sexual market value and other options — suddenly shut down. Commitment doesn't take freedom away. It trades optionality (freedom to do many things) for focus (freedom from distraction). John Dewey called these positive and negative freedom, and the latter is more powerful.
Mark Manson spent years as a location-independent digital nomad — always a new country, a new woman, a new venture. Then the diminishing returns kicked in: countries started feeling the same, dates felt identical, businesses all frustrated him. The cure wasn't more novelty. It was narrowing: one place, one person, one career.
Every meaningful commitment has a dip — an initial peak of excitement, a brutal trough of difficulty, and a second higher peak for those who push through. Institutions once kept people in the dip long enough to reach the other side. With infinite optionality and no institutions, everyone bails at the bottom and restarts the cycle of shallow first peaks.
Stage one — the aesthetic — is the default: chasing sensation, novelty, and keeping every door open. Stage two — the ethical — is learning to choose with eyes wide open, accepting the trade-offs. Stage three — the religious — is when a commitment becomes so total that it no longer feels like a choice. It just feels like who you are.
The ethical stage is rational commitment — you can explain your choices. The religious stage is when your commitment exceeds rational justification. You can't explain why. It just feels like it chose you. Kierkegaard called this the 'virtue of the absurd' — and it's represented not just in faith but in the entrepreneurs, artists, and athletes who can't imagine doing anything else.
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