Podbit · Up First from NPR
Using strength to dominate and demean others isn't masculine — it's the act of a coward. Platner's version: lift weights, shoot guns, do combat deployments, AND go to therapy, be emotionally available, and stay open to being wrong.
Where this was said
At 26:23 · chapter starts 22:05
The interview turns to the controversies that have dogged Platner's campaign. Fadel notes that his old Reddit posts — which contained racist comments and language that blamed sexual assault on victims — came to light in October and many believed they would end his campaign. Platner's explanation is candid: the infantry is a hyper-masculine, intensely violent world where things considered virtues there are not considered virtues in the normal world, and he came out of it carrying much of that culture. He says he addressed it publicly at every town hall, answered every question, and that people in Maine have largely moved on. The tattoo — a skull-and-crossbones motif Platner says he got in 2007 that bears resemblance to an SS symbol — is a more technical argument: he's seen similar insignia on French Foreign Legion units, U.S. Special Forces ODAs, and other Marines, and he was screened for gang and hate tattoos multiple times during a military and State Department career that included a top-secret clearance and service on the ambassador to Afghanistan's security team. Massachusetts Congressman Jake Auchincloss called the tattoo disqualifying; Platner's response is to note that Auchincloss lives in Massachusetts, not Maine.
Platner's deleted Reddit posts with racist comments and victim-blaming about sexual assault surfaced in October — and he addressed them publicly at every town hall. His argument: the capacity to change is a basic human trait, and most Americans don't want their worst moments at 25 to define them forever.
Social media feeds men and women the absolute worst caricatures of each other while stripping away the everyday, imperfect relationships that would calibrate their expectations. Combine that with smaller families and fewer cross-sex friendships, and you get a generation that talks about the opposite sex constantly but almost never to them.
The 'would you rather be alone with a man or a bear' debate went viral not because men are objectively more dangerous than ever, but because an entire fear industrial complex of influencers and safety products had already primed women to feel that way. Once the algorithm identifies you as worried about personal safety, the content and the scrunchie drink-covers never stop.
Women feel less safe not because danger has increased, but because trust in institutions — police, churches, schools — that used to enforce safety norms has collapsed. Young women are far less likely than older women to believe those institutions will handle sexual assault responsibly, leaving them with only individual self-protection as a fallback.
Even self-identified feminist women consistently told Daniel Cox in interviews and surveys that they want men to open doors, pay for dates, and show demonstrable care. The internet noise around 'benevolent sexism' drowns out this widespread, quietly held preference.
In focus groups in Philadelphia and Raleigh, every single hand went up when participants were asked if parents discussed financial stability and education. Zero hands went up for marriage or parenthood. Parents are shaping their children's ambitions with total silence on the experiences that matter most.
American families are smaller than ever, with roughly 1 in 5 children now growing up as only children. Without the daily friction of siblings — shared bedrooms, shared bathrooms, resolving disagreements — young people enter adult relationships without the negotiation muscles relationships require.
Online dating optimises for your existing preferences rather than expanding your horizons. People who meet online give bad first dates almost no second chances; people who meet through mutual friends are far more forgiving. The disembodied, checklist-driven nature of apps removes all the social cues that actually reveal character.
A split-sample survey found that men judge male and female cheating identically harshly, and women judge male cheating the same way men do. The outlier: young women are dramatically less likely to call female infidelity morally wrong, suggesting shared-fate thinking and personal experience of being cheated on are reshaping the moral calculus.
The monk mode trend encourages men to withdraw from social life to work on themselves — but this is precisely backwards. The research is clear: close friendships are the single most powerful predictor of whether a man dates, commits, and becomes his best self. Self-improvement without social reintegration is just sophisticated avoidance.
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