Podbit · The Bill Simmons Podcast
Every Minnesota problem traces back to the Gobert trade. It robbed them of assets, made the Towns deal inevitable, and led to a chain of moves chasing their own tail. Two conference finals later, it's still not clear they didn't overpay.
Where this was said
At 49:30 · chapter starts 34:29
The LaMelo Ball trade to Minnesota triggers one of Simmons' most emphatic takes of the episode. He'd never have done it — LaMelo has played just 9,400 minutes across 6 seasons with zero playoff appearances, putting him in historically rare company alongside Ja Morant and Zion Williamson as high-usage scorers who simply don't play [1] — Bill Simmons "This is a jersey-selling, Twitch-moment trade for fans under 25. LaMelo has played just 9,400 minutes in 6 seasons with zero playoff appear…" 35:00 . Charlotte was clearly managing his minutes all year (27.5 per game from mid-November onward), almost as though they knew a trade was coming. For Minnesota, Simmons sees a franchise chasing its own tail — from the Gobert trade that made the KAT deal inevitable, to the Randle dump, to this Hail Mary for a guard who may never hold up for a 37-minute playoff game. Lowe is more generous, grading it a B for both teams and arguing that in isolation — without factoring in the Randle trade and the asset depletion context — it's not an outrageous price for a player of LaMelo's ceiling. Both agree, however, that the real test isn't the regular season: it's April and May, when LaMelo will need to be a different player against the physicality of OKC and San Antonio.
This is a jersey-selling, Twitch-moment trade for fans under 25. LaMelo has played just 9,400 minutes in 6 seasons with zero playoff appearances. Minnesota just bet Anthony Edwards' prime on a guy who might never play a full season.
Charlotte carefully limited LaMelo to just 27.5 minutes per game from mid-November onward, almost as if they already knew they'd trade him.
In 6 seasons, LaMelo Ball has played just 9,400 minutes and zero playoff games, making him one of the least durable good guards of the last 25 years.
Following the LaMelo trade, Minnesota doesn't control their own first-round pick for 7 years, a staggering asset cost.
Minnesota signed Ioannidis (Io) to a 5-year, $112 million deal, surprising given he was traded for a second-round pick just months earlier.
Thomas's wife deferred her CrossFit career — she's in the global top 1% of athletes — to put him through law school debt-free. He wants her to chase the dream now; she wants the emergency fund and house down payment first. On a $200K lawyer income with no debt, the opportunity cost is just a few months of slower saving.
Underground calisthenics battles are exactly like UFC meets a rap battle — 150 people crowded around a circle, fighters walking out with masks and chains, nicknames like 'Extra Money' vs 'Calisthenics the Prince,' and people throwing money and betting. The battle set: 100 burpees, 50 muscle-ups, 75 dips, 75 squats with a 65-pound dumbbell. This is the next big spectator sport.
Rico Verhoeven controlled the undisputed heavyweight boxing champion for approximately 10 rounds — and had his appeal upheld when officials admitted the fight was stopped after the bell. The result was never overturned. Rogan calls it either incompetence or corruption, and argues the money behind Usyk made an upset politically inconvenient.
Rogan lays out a blunt case: boxing's 3-judge system is structurally broken, and the judges know who the promoter wants to win. Glory's 5-judge format is the right model. Corruption doesn't have to be conscious — just knowing Usyk is the cash cow is enough to tilt the scales.
With the Usyk-Wilder fight stalling and Fury-Joshua coming too late, the real fight the world wants is the rematch. Rico is a free agent. Usyk vacated his belts. The story is unfinished and both Rogan and Rico know it. His Excellency Turki Alasheikh already called for it ringside — the question is money.
Rico texted Jason Statham during the Canelo-Crawford fight. Statham showed Rico's highlight videos to promoters. Two days later, Rico was on a call about fighting Anthony Joshua. When Joshua pulled out, Rico pitched Usyk himself — Undisputed vs. Undisputed. Usyk said yes in two weeks. The whole thing started with one text.
Every heavyweight who faced Usyk tried to move to the right — straight into his power hand. Rico and Peter Fury identified the obvious solution: move left, away from the left hand, and smother him with size. It sounds simple. Nobody had done it. That one adjustment was the foundation of 10 dominant rounds.
MMA fans boo when fights go to the ground. They love stand-up. Kickboxing is pure stand-up. Yet it barely exists in America while boxing and MMA are enormous. Rogan's diagnosis: no promotion machine. If the UFC got behind kickboxing the way they've built MMA, it would explode. The talent is there — the storytelling machine is not.
A nation of 17 million people gave the world Ramon Deckers, Peter Aerts, Badr Hari, Melvin Manhoef, Rob Kamen, Ernesto Hoost, and Rico Verhoeven. Rico's theory: the country is so small that every gym shares knowledge freely. In the US, you need a flight. In Holland, you drive 40 minutes and spar the national champion.
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