CAMILA MENDES: "Perfectionism Was Ruining My Life"

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Why You Have to Heal Before You Love Again

At 58:40 · chapter starts 57:30

Jay asks what Camila had to heal within herself to let Rudy's kind of love in. She's candid: she had to metabolise the humiliation of a very public breakup, watching her ex move on in full view of the world and the internet. But she also believes the standard advice to 'get over it completely before falling in love again' is wrong — and maybe even impossible. Some wounds only reveal themselves in a new relationship. The trust issues, the patterns, the flinches — they surface when you're loving again. That's when you can actually heal them. ^{[1] — Camila Mendes "Camila rejects the idea that you have to be completely healed before you fall in love again. Some wounds are invisible until you start lovi…" 1:00:20 Play} Her father gave her another key piece of the puzzle: he told her she was fighting too hard to make her previous relationship work because she was terrified of repeating her parents' divorce. He told her: relationships are hard, but they're not *that* hard. It should feel somewhat easy. And when Rudy came along, it did.