Quote · Modern Wisdom
The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129
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How to Support a Partner Through Postpartum Depression
At 1:19:01 · chapter starts 1:18:55
The practical intervention session of the episode. Saxbe explains that postpartum depression is correlated within couples — depressed dads make depressed moms more likely, and vice versa — but a well partner is also a powerful protective buffer. [1] — Darby Saxbe "A Swedish paternity leave reform created a natural experiment: babies born right after expanded paternity leave was introduced had mothers …" 1:21:30 The most evidence-backed interventions centre on social integration: proactively mapping who can help with what, overcoming the cultural conditioning toward self-reliance, and leaning into community. Her lab leads psychoeducation workshops with a hospital system serving low-income new parents, walking them through social support mapping before the baby arrives. The Swedish paternity leave reform provides a rare natural experiment: babies born right after expanded paternity access was introduced had mothers who filled significantly fewer anti-anxiety prescriptions. The single clearest policy lever for maternal mental health, Saxbe argues, is giving fathers the time and permission to be present.
A Swedish paternity leave reform created a natural experiment: babies born right after expanded paternity leave was introduced had mothers who filled fewer anti-anxiety prescriptions. Darby Saxbe's own lab found the same pattern — when dads get paid paternity leave, moms are statistically less likely to get depressed after birth.
A Swedish paternity leave reform study found that babies born just after the policy took effect had mothers who filled fewer anti-anxiety medication prescriptions — showing a population-level mental health benefit for moms when dads get more leave.
The most damaging advice new dads receive is that they're biologically useless in early infancy and should step back. This myth drives fathers away from precisely the caregiving behavior that builds their brains, bonds them to their children, and protects mothers' mental health. Richard Reeves argues paternity leave should be available up to a child's 14th birthday.
