Quote · 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Tom Poops The Bucket, Bert Shit The Bed | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Where this was said
Bert Shit Himself in His Sleep
At 53:20 · chapter starts 52:13
Bert's revelation arrives with the casual delivery of a man who has genuinely processed it: he soiled himself in his sleep, thought it was a fart, went to the gym, completed a workout, came home, showered, and only discovered the truth when he wiped his backside with a towel and found fecal matter on both cheeks. His wife Leanne walked in and said 'it smells like balls in here.' Bert corrected her. [1] — Bert Kreischer "Bert calls his father live on the podcast to confirm his legendary history of public bowel accidents. His dad underplays it massively — 'ma…" 54:49 Rather than being horrified, the hosts treat this as a perfectly normal data point in the broader gut health conversation. Tom responds with his own family anecdote: his father once farted while watching TV in bed, defecated on the comforter, flipped the comforter over, and declared 'it's just a little bit of shit' before going back to sleep. Bert then calls his own father live on the podcast to corroborate his childhood memories of a man who routinely soiled himself in public — being retrieved from orange groves and 7-Elevens covered in feces. His dad claims it happened maybe 3 times. Bert estimates 2,000. The call ends with his dad recommending Tom get his stool examined.
Bert Kreischer unknowingly defecated in his sleep, worked out afterward, and only discovered the incident the next morning in the shower.
Bert Kreischer accidentally defecated in his sleep, thought it was a fart, woke up, went to the gym, worked out, came home, and only discovered the evidence during his post-workout shower. His wife walked in and said 'it smells like balls in here.' He told her it wasn't balls.
When called live on the podcast, Bert's father estimated he had only soiled himself 3 times — while Bert believes the real number is closer to 2,000.
Bert calls his father live on the podcast to confirm his legendary history of public bowel accidents. His dad underplays it massively — 'maybe 3 times' — while Bert insists the number is closer to 2,000, recalling phone calls from 7-Elevens and retrieving him from orange groves covered in feces.
Bert and Tom contrast the locker room culture they grew up with — mandatory communal showers, senior classmates naked at 18 — against their Gen Z assistants who panic if they even glimpse their boss in underwear. Bert is genuinely baffled that an entire generation can't handle casual male nudity.
