Discovered gay at 17
Robby didn't realize she was gay until age 17, when a persistent Italian classmate followed her into a bathroom stall at an end-of-semester bar event.
Where this was said
Coming Out: The Italian Girl and the Bathroom Stall
At 33:45 · chapter starts 26:10
Robby opens with a disarming admission: she didn't know she was gay. Not even a little. She was, by her own description, the most homophobic person possible — because she was in denial. She asks her older sisters what they think about gay people, testing the waters. One sister says Rosie O'Donnell is gay; Robby is horrified because O'Donnell loves Tom Cruise. Another sister delivers the line 'if God wanted gay people, he would have made Adam and Steve' — and Robby finds this completely persuasive. Into this context arrives an 'Italian girl' in her CEGEP class in Montreal who is persistently, relentlessly pursuing her. The girl suggests they share a tent on a camping gym intensive; Robby finds this insane and reports nothing. When the girl tells Robby another girl kissed her on the trip, Robby's response is: 'call the police.' But the girl walks Robby to the Western Union to pick up $200 her father wired for tuition — they talk for eight hours. Eventually, at an end-of-semester bar event, the girl follows Robby into a bathroom stall and kisses her. Robby's first comment: 'You have abs.' She describes it as the moment she became 'gay secret.' When she eventually came out, her still-Hasidic father sent exactly one email: 'This is not befitting behavior for a daughter of Israel.' He called it promiscuous. Robby notes she had only one girlfriend at the time and resents the characterization.
Discovering She Was Gay: The Italian Girl in the Bathroom Stall
Robby had spent years convinced she wasn't gay, had defended straight logic to herself, and called the concept of a girl kissing her a police matter. Then a classmate followed her into a bathroom stall — and everything changed.
The $200 Western Union Walk: Robby and the Camper
Robby's broke father somehow wired her $200 for college tuition. The Italian girl — the same one who later kissed her — walked her to the Western Union because Robby had never heard of one. Eight hours of talking. Then everything changed.
Father's one email after coming out
After Robby came out, her still-Hasidic father sent exactly one email saying the behavior was 'not befitting of a daughter of Israel' and calling it promiscuous, despite Robby having only one girlfriend.
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