Median age at first marriage climbed from 21 (women) and 23 (men) in the 1970s to nearly 29 (women) and 30 (men) today — a rise of 6–8 years per gender, extending the 'emerging adulthood' liminal phase.
Where this was said
At 56:15 · chapter starts 43:30
Kierkegaard saw the problem clearly in the 1840s, but modern culture has since built an entire scaffolding that makes his predictions worse. Anthropologist Arnold van Gennep identified that rites of passage universally involve separation, liminality (in-between), and reentry with a new identity. Victor Turner showed that modern culture eliminated the ritual but preserved the liminal phase indefinitely. [1] — Drew Birnie "Median marriage age rose 6–8 years per gender since 1970s: Median age at first marriage climbed from 21 (women) and 23 (men) in the 1970s t…" 56:15 Jeffrey Arnett formalized this as 'emerging adulthood' — the exploratory, identity-uncertain decade that barely existed before the mid-20th century. Drew walks through the numbers: marriage age up 6–8 years per gender since the 1970s, college enrollment up from 14% to 60%, first childbirth age steadily climbing. Separately, Zygmunt Bauman's 'Liquid Modernity' identified how a dynamic service economy made commitment an economic liability — skills became transferable, careers became portfolios, and the return-policy mindset spread from products to relationships. The result is a low-trust environment where commitment feels not just uncomfortable but strategically unwise.
More connectivity doesn't produce more independent thinking — it produces more homogeneity. Kierkegaard called this 'leveling': the internet's utopian promise of everyone thinking for themselves is backwards. The more interconnected people are, the stronger the phantom of public opinion, and the more of a liability it becomes to stand out.
Traditional societies had rites of passage that closed off childhood and opened adulthood. Modern society kept the in-between liminal phase but eliminated the ritual that resolved it. The result is 'emerging adulthood' — a decade or more stuck in the transition — engineered by rising education requirements, women entering the workforce, and delayed marriage.
U.S. college enrollment surged from just 14% in the 1970s to roughly 60% by the 1990s, extending the educational and exploratory phase of young adulthood and delaying commitment.
Kierkegaard's concept of anxiety as 'the dizziness of freedom' predates Freud's psychological framework by roughly 60 years, yet modern research has since validated his core claims about commitment and identity.
Between 2003 and 2020, Americans accumulated roughly 24 extra hours per month spent alone — the equivalent of a part-time job's worth of isolation, and that's before the pandemic.
San Francisco's average rent rose 18% over the past two years to $3,728/month, surpassing New York City as the most expensive rental market in the country.
San Francisco's average monthly rent now stands at $3,728, surpassing New York City to become the most expensive rental city in the United States.
At a childhood sleepover, Bobby Lee's friends drew penises on his face and he walked 7 miles home on a dirt road before being picked up by Eric Purvis's mom.
In 1950, about 60% of the world lived in extreme poverty; today it's about 1 in 10, attributable to capitalist economic growth.
From 2021 to 2024, 6 million children fell below the poverty line in the US after the expanded child tax credit expired.
Private domestic infant and international adoptions typically cost $40,000 to $70,000, while foster care adoption is the most affordable route at $0 to $2,000.
Historically, only 40% of men have ever reproduced — Galloway uses this to argue that romantic success requires effort, not a hall pass.
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