The rapid-fire segment opens with the LaMelo Ball trade to the Timberwolves, which Big Cat argues solves Anthony Edwards's double-team problem but comes with injury risk. Zach's affection for LaMelo is noted, while PFT points out the irony of trading away the steady Nas Reid who would have been a perfect fit. The Travis Kelce-Taylor Swift MSG wedding discussion draws a distinction between the ceremony and the party — apparently MSG is tacky for a ceremony but fine for a reception. Austin Reeves' $185 million max deal is announced mid-segment, with PFT defending the potentially rich contract. The crew also spars over whether Wendy's prediction that the contract is tradeable for a second-round pick will age well.

Big Cat reads through the alarming details of MLB owners' CBA proposal — hard cap, five-year max contracts, no deferred money — and the crew agrees a lockout seems inevitable with no summer sport to replace baseball. Hank stuns the room by deploying the same 'they haven't won anything' logic against Caitlin Clark discourse that PFT always uses against US soccer, briefly winning the segment before PFT calls it a straw man. The Terrion Arnold kidnapping situation is addressed briefly (anti-kidnapping podcast disclaimers ensue). Brian Kelly taking a Mountain West broadcast role is mocked, though Big Cat allows that a grumpy-coach-who-hates-the-media persona could work — citing Jim Boeheim as the template. The crew also debates whether A-Rod's ownership style drove the Timberwolves to make a splash move.

Sponsored by Microsoft 365 Copilot, the Mount Rushmore is a three-team draft: Hank/Zach vs. PFT vs. Big Cat/Max. Hank's team opens with the refrigerator; PFT counters immediately with air conditioning, calling it possibly the greatest invention of all time. The debate over which is more essential runs for nearly ten minutes, with Hank — who grew up without AC — standing firm that industrial fans suffice, while PFT claims 40 percent of listeners would die without air conditioning. Big Cat and Max take microwave and grill; PFT adds stove and garbage disposal; Hank's team adds dishwasher and vacuum (mocked mercilessly). The air fryer, hot tub, coffee maker, and washer-dryer round out the picks. Big Cat lobbies passionately for a garage fridge as a distinct appliance and is shot down. Microsoft Copilot's picks — fridge, stove, washing machine, vacuum — are revealed at the end, vindicating Hank and cementing the bit.

Big Cat opens by fangirling out about Caleb Williams, who good-naturedly plays along. Williams describes getting the Madden 27 cover call as a childhood dream — he tried to play it cool on the phone and immediately called his closest friends after. He dismisses the Madden curse without hesitation. The conversation shifts to his working relationship with Ben Johnson: during OTAs they meet weekly, but in season, those meetings happen every day for up to two and a half hours. ^{[1] — Caleb Williams "Ben Johnson meetings — 1.5–2.5 hrs/day: During the season, Bears QB Caleb Williams meets one-on-one with head coach Ben Johnson every singl…" 1:03:24 Play} Williams traces the trust built with Johnson specifically to the aftermath of the Bears' 0-2 start, when the coach's calm and direct communication changed the dynamic entirely. The offense itself, he says, didn't click until midway through the season. PFT asks about haters, and Williams delivers one of the episode's best lines: 'I love them. It's my favorite thing.' He defends his low completion percentage by explaining that his intentional throwaway rate is higher than any other QB, and reveals he has researched Peyton, Tom, and Patrick's career numbers as benchmarks.

Big Cat introduces the Brennan Sorsby situation — the Texas Tech QB who was briefly reinstated by a local judge after a gambling suspension — and Klatt does not hold back. He calls it a total disaster, noting it violated one of sports' longest-standing rules (going back to Shoeless Joe and Pete Rose) and that local judges giving favorable rulings to local teams destroys any semblance of rule enforcement. ^{[1] — Joel Klatt "Sorsby's reinstatement by a local Texas judge was a disaster for college football's rule structure. But Klatt sees a silver lining: the cha…" 1:48:20 Play} Crucially, Klatt argues this wasn't uniquely Texas Tech — he believes most programs would act similarly when their own interests are threatened. The silver lining: the chaos has accelerated a Senate bill that could grant antitrust protection to college sports enforcement bodies. Without that protection, Klatt argues, any enforcement entity is toothless. He goes further: he personally believes college football needs to collectively bargain with players, and without a CBA, legal challenges will continue indefinitely. PFT agrees, calling any legislative fix without a CBA mere window dressing.

Hank's Fyre Fest: a routine dental crown appointment reduced him to a tense, tensed-up mess who the dentist had to repeatedly tell to stop tensing. PFT's Fyre Fest: Brandon Aiyuk's relentless social media lobbying to join the Washington Commanders has crossed into stalker territory — PFT now yearns for the mental stability and groundedness of Stefon Diggs. Zach's Fyre Fest: he is moving to a new apartment 800 feet away, has no car, no couch (he's leaving it), and what he calls a 'dolly' is actually an industrial laundry basket with wheels. The crew immediately volunteers a PMT TV episode where all nine of them physically walk his belongings down the street. Big Cat closes with the end of Pug softball season — undefeated in the playoffs, 8-1 on the year, rained out before the semifinals, channeling a Florida State 'we're the champions' energy despite not finishing.