The episode opens in earnest with Big Cat leading the All-Star Week autopsy. The Home Run Derby gets mostly positive reviews — Jordan Walker's late surge against Schwarber in a boo-heavy Philly crowd is called one of the more dramatic moments of any derby in recent memory ^{[1] — Big Cat "Jordan Walker won the 2026 MLB Home Run Derby in front of a hostile Philadelphia crowd that was booing his every pitch taken. Making roughl…" 04:00 Play} , and Walker's $1 million payday on an $800K salary gets a warm reception from the hosts. PFT's main gripe with the new format is the camera work — too many ultra-tight zooms and dynamic angles instead of stationary shots that let you watch the ball land — and he cites Buster Olney's numbers showing only 131 home runs were hit versus a 275-homer average under the old clock format. Max (a Phillies fan) defends Schwarber's performance while noting the NL managed only three hits total in the All-Star Game. The Sandlot tribute and Boys II Men performance get light ribbing before the conversation drifts to Ken Griffey Jr.'s current physique, Barry Bonds' surprise All-Star appearance, and an earnest pitch to get Bonds on the podcast as a long-overdue media moment. ^{[2] — PFT Commenter "Buster Olney's stats show the new clock-free HR Derby produced 131 homers versus a 5-year average of 275 under the old format. But PFT argu…" 06:30 Play}

The World Cup conversation kicks off with a damning verdict on France: they beat nobody until they ran into Spain, and Spain's speed up front exposed them immediately. Lamine Yamal's 11-of-13 record against Mbappe ^{[1] — Big Cat "Yamal beats Mbappe 11 of 13 times: Spain's Lamine Yamal has faced Kylian Mbappe 13 times and come out on top 11 of those matchups, earning …" 20:53 Play} becomes the headline stat, and Taylor Twellman's observation that Spain played six of seven games indoors raises questions about a built-in climate advantage over teams playing in outdoor summer heat. The hosts pivot to the 2PM kickoff time debate — great for European prime-time audiences, terrible for American fans hosting the tournament — before landing on a heartfelt side-trip about Norwegian fans leaving the US after Portugal's exit, Erling Haaland's post-tournament LIV nightclub visit being criticized online (the crew defends him), and a deeply funny tangent about a Norwegian fan who refused to do the rowing celebration because the Vikings sailed, not rowed, across the Atlantic. The setup for Argentina vs. Spain in the final is established as FIFA's dream matchup — though Zach has doubts about Argentina's path to the final against easier opponents.

Hot Seat/Cool Throne gets into full swing with Hank taking aim at people who criticized Erling Haaland for going to LIV nightclub after Norway's World Cup exit — arguing players deserve to let loose after historic performances. PFT's cool throne is a pair of Australian football players who were caught walking out of a family bathroom together and faced zero disciplinary action, which the team reads as society correctly treating men's bathroom trips together with the same acceptance as women's. Big Cat's hot seat belongs to Chicago Cubs/White Sox beat reporter Bruce Levine, who accidentally tweeted a private DM to a coach — containing thinly veiled sycophancy toward the coaching staff while calling GMs Jed Hoyer and Carter Hawkins 'Twinkle Dee and Twinkle Dumb' ^{[1] — Big Cat "Cubs/White Sox reporter Bruce Levine accidentally tweeted a message meant to be a private DM, sucking up to a coach while calling GMs Jed H…" 51:22 Play} , a creative misspelling of the Lewis Carroll characters. Big Cat's cool throne is the new ESPN QB rankings (Josh Allen No. 1, Patrick Mahomes No. 2), with Caleb Williams cracking the top 10 at No. 10, which the PMT team uses as Jalen Hurts motivation fuel. The segment closes on a parasitic intestinal disease sweeping Michigan and Ohio, which produces a lengthy comedic debate about which US states are most hardened by diarrhea.

The Mount Rushmore of stores and restaurants where you could spend the rest of your life produces an entertaining pick-by-pick debate. Hank and Zach open with Costco — the unanimous no-brainer, featuring food, alcohol, trampolines, exercise equipment, and bikes — before PFT stakes out Magic City (Miami strip club with a full menu) and Sam's Club. Big Cat, Max, and Memes go with Walmart (everything imaginable), Dave and Buster's (arcade, food, booze), Bass Pro Shop (fishing, swimming, the naked guy legend), and PJ Superstore (golf simulator, video games, groceries). AMC Theaters is a late clutch pick from Zach. The most contentious moment is producer Shane suggesting Blockbuster as an honorable mention, which is immediately demolished on the grounds that Blockbuster had no furniture, no real TVs, and basically nothing you'd want for long-term habitation ^{[1] — Big Cat "The Pardon My Take crew debates the best stores and restaurants to live in forever. Costco wins unanimous first-pick status (food, alcohol,…" 1:07:54 Play} . Honorable mentions include Target, Cheesecake Factory, Chili's, Cabela's, and Mattress Firm. The poll technically comes down to 0.2% — a win for Big Cat's team.

Roger Clemens walks into the room, introduces himself as 'The Rocket,' and immediately establishes the tone for what becomes one of the richest baseball interviews in Pardon My Take history. He opens by joking about naming all four sons with the letter K despite them all being hitters, then provides detailed insight into how he called his own pitches — approximately 95% from the mound using subtle physical tells, including hitching his pants to signal his splitter, a secret nobody ever cracked across his 24-year career ^{[1] — Roger Clemens "Clemens called 95% of his pitches himself — and his tell for the splitter was simply hitching his pants. Nobody ever cracked it. He also ca…" 2:12:30 Play} . He dives into pitch-tipping detection, explaining how he caught one pitcher showing his teeth when throwing a changeup, and how two inches of exposed skin on a different sleeve betrayed his own splitter early in his career. The Piazza bat incident is given full treatment ^{[2] — Roger Clemens "Clemens says the bat broke in four pieces, bounced directly into his hands on the mound, and he instinctively threw it — not at Piazza, but…" 2:14:00 Play} : the bat shattered into four pieces, bounced directly into his hands with perfect fielding form, and he threw it instinctively toward the on-deck circle — not at Piazza. He shares a hilarious Steinbrenner story about the owner spontaneously lying down on a loaded hamstring machine in Clemens' home gym during a recruiting visit, nearly shaking a light fixture loose and frightening everyone downstairs ^{[3] — Roger Clemens "Clemens says he quit caring after year one of being eligible, because you have no control over it. He played to change his family's financi…" 2:21:25 Play} . His 2007 Yankees comeback at 45 is recounted with full drama — the surprise Yankee Stadium announcement he never wanted, the car still running in the parking lot as he left for Tampa. He closes with genuine emotion: his mother working three jobs in Houston so he could have good cleats, passing away during the 2005 World Series while he chose to drive two hours and pitch, and a measured perspective on Hall of Fame exclusion — he played to change his family's life and win championships, not for Cooperstown.

Shane Bacon joins to preview the 2026 Open Championship at Royal Birkdale, starting with a fun hook: the course has a 'donut bunker' on the seventh hole. He breaks down the course — flat for a links track, 108 bunkers positioned around green approaches, firm and fast conditions with minimal wind forecast, and par-fives coming only at holes 14 and 17. Past champions include Arnold Palmer, Lee Trevino, Tom Watson, and Jordan Spieth. Shane outlines five key storylines: a strangely random 2026 major season, a 12-consecutive first-time Open winner streak dating to Phil Mickelson in 2013, the potential missed-cut slam for Bryson DeChambeau, the 'year of the comeback' in professional golf, and which big name finally saves a lost season. The Tommy Fleetwood revelation — that he grew up three miles from Birkdale and used to sneak on with his father — nearly derails the hosts, who immediately begin placing sentimental bets ^{[1] — Big Cat "Tommy Fleetwood grew up three miles from Royal Birkdale and used to sneak onto the course during twilight with his father to practice. He's…" 2:47:24 Play} . Shane's actual pick is Victor Hovland, citing his recovered driving, confidence from beating Scheffler, and three top-15 finishes in five prior Open starts ^{[2] — Shane Bacon "Hovland spent months trying to gain distance off the tee and somehow lost distance instead. But his driver has returned in the last two wee…" 2:44:42 Play} . The segment ends with Shane learning about Hank's righty-driver/lefty-everything-else golf setup and declaring it genuinely baffling.

Guys on Chicks wraps the episode with three listener questions. The first asks what men actually talk about during a four-hour golf round — the unanimous answer is nothing of substance, mostly gambling scores, stories from previous rounds, and light bullshitting. The second comes from a woman in California frustrated that her boyfriend FaceTimes his Chicago friends for ten straight hours every NFL Sunday — the hosts side with the boyfriend while suggesting he set up a hobby he can later sacrifice as a romantic gesture. The third brings a shout-out from a woman whose fiancé Tony listens to PMT daily and uses sports events as reasons to be excited for upcoming episodes — Big Cat jokes he'll 'call the whole thing off' if Tony gives the signal. The episode closes with birthday shoutouts including Will Ferrell, Barry Sanders, Dame Lillard, and Aaron Glenn, plus Max noting he lands from his honeymoon the Friday before Labor Day — right as football season begins.