Speaker
Juan Andrés Guerrero Saade
Appearances over time
1 episodes
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1
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Quotes & moments
The only clue Jags had to FAST16's existence was a single cryptic 6-word line in a leaked NSA malware list: 'FAST16, nothing to see here, carry on.'
FAST16 is the first piece of malware Jags had ever encountered that specifically targeted floating-point, high-precision mathematical calculations.
FAST16 spread from computer to computer and gave the exact same wrong answer on every machine, making it nearly impossible for scientists to detect the sabotage.
Vitaly Kamluk spent approximately two weeks in near-total isolation reverse-engineering FAST16, then used AI models to double and triple-check his findings.
FAST16's most diabolical feature was psychological — it made Iranian nuclear scientists doubt their own competence rather than suspect their computers were compromised.
Out of an entire leaked NSA malware list, one entry stood completely apart: 'FAST16, nothing to see here, carry on' — in all caps, with no standard warning or instruction. For cyber paleontologist Jags, this wasn't a dismissal. It was an irresistible invitation.
Jags reverse-engineers old malware buried deep on servers to understand how hackers got in and what they did — so future attacks can be stopped. His work is significant enough to have pieces displayed at the International Spy Museum in Washington, D.C.
Before Stuxnet, offensive cyberweapons were theoretical. Then Israel and the U.S. allegedly used malware to make Iran's uranium enrichment centrifuges spin themselves to destruction — all while showing normal readings on every computer screen. It destroyed one-fifth of Iran's centrifuges and proved that code could have real-world physical consequences.
Jags's colleague Vitaly Kamluk disappeared for two weeks into the FAST16 problem, using AI to verify his reverse engineering. What emerged: FAST16 targeted high-precision floating-point math — a type of calculation no malware had ever targeted before, and the exclusive territory of nuclear physicists.
FAST16 didn't just corrupt one machine — it spread computer to computer and gave the exact same wrong answer on every one. That coherence was the point: the sabotage looked like human error, not malware. Scientists would doubt themselves before they'd doubt their computers.
FAST16 hid silently on computers until it detected the specific pressure calculations used to simulate a nuclear explosion. Then it corrupted the math just enough to produce consistently wrong answers — on every machine, every time. Scientists would blame themselves long before suspecting their computers.
Certainty isn't coherent deduction — it's a background assumption that lets you function. FAST16 weaponized that assumption, forcing scientists to question not just their results but their own competence. Jags, a philosophy dropout turned hacker, calls this 'epistemological warfare.'
The NSA's own malware detection tool included FAST16 — but instead of a standard 'pull back' warning, it simply said 'nothing to see here, carry on.' The agency apparently didn't deny authorship to Jags either, reportedly signaling: this is 20-year-old history, not a secret worth protecting now.
The string of bytes in FAST16's code matched LSDyna, a physics modeling program. A think tank report revealed that Iranian nuclear scientists were using LSDyna specifically to simulate explosive materials for nuclear payloads — confirming FAST16's likely target with chilling precision.
On a driverless train in Singapore, Vitaly pointed out this was exactly the kind of system FAST16-style malware could degrade. There'd been a collision recently. Officials said no cyberattack was involved. Jags and Vitaly looked at each other and said: 'Well, as far as we know.'
After months of fruitless nights failing to decode FAST16, Jags made a decision most researchers wouldn't: he tattooed 'FAST16, nothing to see here, carry on' on his arm — a permanent reminder of the unsolved mystery he refused to abandon.
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- Society & Culture 10%
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