Robby Hoffman had never heard of 'new towels.' A towel, in her world, was built with the house. When Sarah Silverman announced she'd bought new pool towels, it was a class-gap revelation.
Where this was said
At 17:40 · chapter starts 15:30
Sean Hayes tries to retell a joke from Robby's special, gets baited into mangling it, and eventually Robby takes over: the towel revelation happened at Sarah Silverman's house. For Robby, a towel was simply built into the house — she had never encountered the concept of buying new ones. Silverman announcing 'we just got new towels for the pool' was a genuinely alien experience. The story becomes a jumping-off point for a broader riff: Robby had already been horrified to discover via Jerry Seinfeld's Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee that Silverman lived in an apartment, not a house, which seemed to Robby like a failure of dreams. When Silverman finally bought a house, Robby felt vindicated. Jason Bateman intercepts to explain that actually, new towels are bad — they need 20 washes to become properly thirsty — which Robby finds both ridiculous and entirely right for a man of Jason's level.
At a rich person's house you orbit a gargantuan kitchen island and can't touch the fridge. At a broke person's apartment there's Doritos, whiskey, and you can spill freely — and nobody cares.
A broken pipe turned the Bad Friends studio into a hydrogen sulfide chamber. The crew denied smelling anything — which, as Andrew pointed out, makes their home lives deeply suspicious.
At a childhood sleepover in Sacramento, Bobby Lee's friends drew penises all over his face while he slept. He woke up, cried, and walked 7 miles down a dirt road before Eric Purvis's mom drove out to retrieve him.
On KSI's Make Me Laugh show, Bobby Lee got slapped so hard he fell and briefly blacked out — 5 minutes into the event. The rule was to use a tortilla, but the contestant used his bare hand instead.
What starts as a riff on Amber Alerts turns into an elaborate Speed remake: Bobby is a Hollywood tour guide whose bus shares a route with a kidnapper's identical bus, there's a bomb on board, and Keanu Reeves needs to be called immediately.
Their producer riffs a conspiracy theory about Lindsey Graham's death in Kyiv, which somehow leads to Bobby and Andrew discovering that every lyric of 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin secretly describes 9/11. They are disturbingly convincing.
Bobby Lee woke up Saturday morning to find three children splashing in his pool, along with a professionally hired swimming teacher — all arranged by friends who have keys to his house. His response: 'There's just too much joy here.'
Harold Ramis told a story about Caddyshack's cast doing drugs all day and night during Florida storm delays, with half their pay going to cocaine. Bobby Lee immediately wants to make that exact movie — and offers to relapse to do it.
Will Arnett pitched the perfect rich-person home for Robby: seven-hundred-thread-count sheets and brand-new towels — but a tiny, wrecked kitchen with a coil stove, chips, and Sprite. Best of both worlds.
A previous SmartLess episode where Will Arnett asked Jason Bateman if he'd ever pooped in front of his wife got picked up by Page Six. Then the National Enquirer reached out claiming there was a longstanding rift between Will and Jason. Nobody was rifting.
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