On Attachment

Podbit · On Attachment

#131: On Getting Back Together with an Ex

Explore episode Feb 14, 2024

Where this was said

Bad Reason #2: Fear of Being Alone or the Dating Pool

At 18:30 · chapter starts 16:45

The second bad reason Stephanie identifies is fear: specifically the fear of being alone or the dawning dread that the alternative to a known (if imperfect) relationship might be worse. For many people, re-entering single life is not an exciting prospect — online dating is exhausting, demoralising, and lackluster. When the first few dates disappoint, it becomes easy to retroactively downgrade all the genuine problems in the previous relationship by comparison. Stephanie is careful not to shame anyone for thinking this way — it's very human, she says, and entirely understandable. But a scarcity mindset rooted in loneliness is not a foundation for rebuilding a relationship that ended because it wasn't working, and it isn't fair to either person.

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