Quote · Modern Wisdom
The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129
Where this was said
Biology or Choice: What Makes a Hands-On Dad?
At 31:36 · chapter starts 31:31
A short detour into cultural testimony: Chris Williamson plays a clip of actor Bob Odenkirk articulating what many new fathers feel but struggle to express. [1] — Bob Odenkirk "I didn't have to ask myself, what am I doing here? How can I be meaningful today? I didn't have to ask that question because the fucking an…" 32:48 Odenkirk describes being deeply jealous of parents with young children at home, because those years provided him with total clarity of purpose — no existential questions about meaning or contribution, just the concrete daily work of getting kids to school and having a laugh with them. Darby Saxbe connects this to research showing that sense of meaning, coherence, and connectedness are among the most powerful drivers of psychological wellbeing, and that fatherhood is one of the most reliable delivery mechanisms for all three.
Bob Odenkirk described fatherhood as the thing that ended his existential questioning. When your kids are growing up, you don't have to ask what you're here for — the answer is picking up everything between here and the door and making sure they get to school. The meaning isn't found, it's assigned.
