Quote · The Mel Robbins Podcast
Create a Happier Version of Yourself: Redirect Your Energy for Positive Thinking
Where this was said
The Grief of Letting Go and the Return of Happiness
At 1:03:13 · chapter starts 1:01:30
Both Mel and Oakley hit the same unexpected wall when they finally stopped comparing and started investing: grief. Letting go of what was, really letting go, is painful in a way that self-help language often skips over [1] — Oakley Robbins "When Mel and Oakley finally stopped comparing and started opening up to their new chapters, both hit an unexpected wall: grief. Letting go …" 1:02:29 . Mel describes the feeling of releasing 26 years of life near Boston; Oakley describes the strangeness of no longer having his girlfriend's calls as an anchor. But on the other side of that grief, both found something real. Oakley's happiness didn't announce itself dramatically — it snuck up on him during a completely ordinary day that ended with a spontaneous four-hour conversation in a parked car in the rain with a new friend. Looking around in that moment, he thought: 'I'm happy.' After 18 months of effort, the accumulation of small yeses had built into something he hadn't expected — genuine belonging.
When Mel and Oakley finally stopped comparing and started opening up to their new chapters, both hit an unexpected wall: grief. Letting go of what was — really letting go — is painful. But that grief is also the doorway to something new. You can't skip it; you have to walk through it.
After months of effort, Oakley's happiness returned in a single moment: a 4-hour conversation with a new close friend in a parked car during a rainstorm.
After months of effort, happiness didn't arrive dramatically. It snuck up on Oakley sitting in a parked car with a new friend during a rainstorm, talking for four hours. He looked around and realized: this is it. The friendships he'd waited 18 months for had quietly arrived.
