Quote · Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Foreign Object in Butt III
Where this was said
John the Ohio ER Nurse: Three Bratwursts, a Toothbrush Holder & a Colostomy
At 27:24 · chapter starts 21:55
John's story begins with a patient arriving by ambulance with abdominal pain and a small amount of bleeding, initially denying any foreign object. A rectal exam produces clear plastic on the doctor's glove — the casing of a bratwurst — and a CT scan confirms three of them, arranged in a pattern that looks like a fidget spinner. The patient had been home alone, wife out of town, and one bratwurst felt good, so he tried two, then three. Surgery was required. Days later, the surgeon casually mentioned that the same man had previously been treated at the other hospital in town. John's second and third images reveal an apple (cored and strung with a retrieval string) and a toothbrush holder — the latter requiring the surgeons to open his belly, remove dead bowel, and fit him with a permanent colostomy. [1] — John "John's 2013 patient lied through the whole first visit, but a CT scan revealed three bratwursts. That already led to surgery. Then John's c…" 14:34 Dax draws an immediate parallel to his own addictive escalation logic, noting that 'one pill felt great, so two must be better' is exactly the same algorithm. John then drops a bonus story about a patient who identified as a cat, wanted to experience giving birth to kittens, inserted three live ones, and died of sepsis. [2] — John "John saved his most disturbing story for last: a patient who identified as a cat and wanted to experience what it felt like to give birth t…" 26:18
The bratwurst patient visited two hospitals in the same area across multiple incidents and ultimately required a colostomy after his bowel died from a toothbrush holder obstruction.
John saved his most disturbing story for last: a patient who identified as a cat and wanted to experience what it felt like to give birth to kittens — with three actual live kittens. She died of sepsis after keeping them for days. Dax's only ethical line: you cannot involve other animals.
