Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Quote · Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 618 - Officer Lemaire (feat. Charles Blyzniuk & Lemaire Lee)

Explore episode Jun 8, 2026

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The Thigh Rub Revelation

At 28:35 · chapter starts 27:40

The conversation meanders into a discussion of what criminal suspects might do in a cop car knowing they're about to go to jail. Lemaire suggests 'thigh rubbing it out' as a last resort — tucking and squeezing to achieve self-gratification without using hands. Charles has never heard of this technique. As the hosts probe further, Lemaire confirms he practiced this method regularly from approximately ages 22 to 25, and that he performed it kneeling behind his grandmother's couch so she wouldn't see. Shane immediately declares Lemaire the undisputed 'new leader in the clubhouse' for most outrageous MSSP confession, and the cast spends several minutes trying to process what they've just been told. Lemaire insists he is not currently thigh rubbing during the recording session, but acknowledges he cannot be trusted.

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