2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Quote · 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

The Bears Go Up In Smoke | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Explore episode May 4, 2026

Where this was said

Fat Guy Problems

At 5:13 · chapter starts 1:56

Bert's health obsession takes center stage as he recalls the Instagram account 'Things Fat Guys Do' and starts unpacking the psychology of unhealthy habits. He recounts the terrifying moment in the hospital when his blood pressure hit 170/110 and nurses turned the monitor away — then reveals it's now 111/72, tracked daily and sent to his cardiologist. The most striking detail: on the exact day he got his blood clot, his Whoop spiked his biological age to 60. Through consistent training, it's now dropped to 56 and falling six months per week. Bert then interrogates Tom on why people ever choose to drink, and Tom's honest answer — almost entirely social reflex — gives Bert a new lens on his own sobriety. The chapter closes with Bert musing that he genuinely can't find a reason to drink anymore.

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