Jia Jiang accepted more than rejected
Over 100 days of outlandish requests, Jia Jiang was accepted 51 times, rejected 48, and faced meaningful negativity in only about 7 interactions.
Snapshot · Huberman Lab
How to Overcome Social Anxiety | Dr. Nick Epley
Explore episode
May 18, 2026
Where this was said
Social Anxiety & Changing Beliefs; 100 Days of Rejection
At 1:27:00 · chapter starts 1:22:26
Social anxiety, Epley explains, is highly treatable — more so than many other conditions psychologists encounter. The key insight from Stefan Hoffman's work is that traditional simulation-based therapy (pretend speeches, role-playing) fails because the brain knows it is not real. Real exposure to the feared situation is what updates the belief. He traces Jia Jiang's journey from a terrified aspiring entrepreneur who expected 100 straight rejections to a man who, by day three, was getting Krispy Kreme to make Olympic-ring donuts on request. Nick's lab manager coded all of Jia's videos: 51 acceptances, 48 rejections, meaningful negativity in only 7 of over 100 encounters. The takeaway Jia himself articulated — 'I didn't develop thicker skin; I changed how I think about other people' — is the episode's most clinically actionable moment, and Epley's lab's 30,000-person, 120-experiment database provides the structural support.
Jia Jiang's 100 Days of Rejection: Accepted More Than Rejected
Jia Jiang set out to get rejected 100 days straight to build thick skin. Instead, he was accepted more often than rejected — and faced real negativity in only 7 of 100 encounters. His takeaway wasn't toughness; it was that other people are radically kinder than we expect.
Exposure therapy changes beliefs, not anxiety
Exposure therapy for social anxiety works not by dulling fear but by correcting mistaken beliefs about how other people will respond — a distinction developed by Stefan Hoffman.
Pessimistic social expectations
People consistently overestimate how many strangers they must ask before getting a yes — the 'underestimation of compliance effect' documented by Frank Flynn and Vanessa Bones.
Adopting Lindsay: How Data Gave a Father Courage
When Nick Epley's wife asked if they should adopt a child with Down syndrome after losing their daughter Sophie to stillbirth, his instinct was fear. His own data — 30,000 participants showing people systematically underestimate positive outcomes — gave him the courage to say yes. Lindsay became the magnet of their family.
30,000 participants, 120+ experiments
Nick Epley's lab has run over 30,000 people across more than 120 experiments documenting consistent underestimation of positive social responses.
Similar snapshots
SF average rent up 18% in 2 years
San Francisco's average rent rose 18% over the past two years to $3,728/month, surpassing New York City as the most expensive rental market in the country.
SF average rent: $3,728/month
San Francisco's average monthly rent now stands at $3,728, surpassing New York City to become the most expensive rental city in the United States.
Bobby walked 7 miles with dicks drawn on face
At a childhood sleepover, Bobby Lee's friends drew penises on his face and he walked 7 miles home on a dirt road before being picked up by Eric Purvis's mom.
World poverty: 60% in 1950 vs 10% today
In 1950, about 60% of the world lived in extreme poverty; today it's about 1 in 10, attributable to capitalist economic growth.
6M US children fell into poverty 2021–24
From 2021 to 2024, 6 million children fell below the poverty line in the US after the expanded child tax credit expired.
Private adoption costs $40,000–$70,000
Private domestic infant and international adoptions typically cost $40,000 to $70,000, while foster care adoption is the most affordable route at $0 to $2,000.
Only 40% of men have ever reproduced
Historically, only 40% of men have ever reproduced — Galloway uses this to argue that romantic success requires effort, not a hall pass.
7th of 10 children
Robby Hoffman is the 7th of 10 children raised in a Hasidic household in Montreal, where the family was poor and comedy was a survival mechanism.
No concept of 'too soon'
Robby's Hasidic community had no concept of 'too soon' in comedy — if it was funny, you threw it, and if you bombed, your sibling told you immediately.
