Boundaries are for you, not others
Your personal boundaries are not rules for other people — they are reminders to yourself of what you will and won't do.
Snapshot · The Mel Robbins Podcast
8 Simple Reminders You Need to Hear Right Now
Explore episode
Jul 9, 2026
Where this was said
Reminder 7: Maturing Is Realising Other People's Bullshit Is Not About You — Let Them
At 52:00 · chapter starts 49:20
The seventh reminder reframes a concept Mel has become closely associated with, correcting a common misread. 'Let them' is not permission for disrespect; it is a proactive refusal to expend energy trying to change people you cannot change. [1] — Mel Robbins "When you say 'let them,' you're drawing a boundary. You are saying out loud, I recognize what you're doing, and I also recognize I can't co…" 49:30 When you say 'let them,' you are asserting: I see exactly what you're doing, I recognize I can't control it, and you're not worth my time and energy. The 'let me' that follows is where the real work lives: let me protect my peace, let me choose what I participate in, let me set the boundary and hold it without apologising when someone gets upset. Because when they do get upset — and Mel returns to this point twice — that reaction is evidence the boundary is working, not that it is wrong. The chapter builds to a crucial clarification: your boundaries are not rules for other people. [2] — Mel Robbins "Boundaries are for you, not others: Your personal boundaries are not rules for other people — they are reminders to yourself of what you wi…" 52:00 They are reminders to yourself of what you will and will not do. You do not owe anyone a response, an explanation, or access to your energy. Let them say what they'll say. Let me focus on what I can control: my attitude, my effort, my choices, my time.
When people get upset at your boundary, it's working
Pushback when you set a boundary is not evidence the boundary is wrong — it is evidence the boundary is working.
Reminder 8: Today Is Going to Be a Good Day
Most people wake up and drift into a bad mood by default. Deciding out loud that today is going to be a good day — and then making one small good thing happen — is how you build a good life. Not through reinvention. Through Tuesdays.
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