Podbit · 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Nick Kroll went to polo legend Nacho Figueras' private ranch outside Buenos Aires, rode a horse beautifully for the first time in his life, felt like the coolest person on the planet, and then his face erupted in a full allergic reaction from touching the horse's mane and then his own face. His companion did not stay over.
Where this was said
At 1:17:49 · chapter starts 1:04:19
The conversation starts innocuously: Nick asks whether Tom and Bert had to buy all new clothes after their weight loss. Tom's answer is practical — he overbought and then purged hundreds of items. Bert's answer expands into a full physical and psychological inventory. [1] — Bert Kreischer "Bert Kreischer has lost 50 pounds, dropped 19% body fat, and hasn't had a drink in four months. His shows are objectively better sober. His…" 1:06:20 He is down 50 pounds, at 19% lower body fat, with perfect blood work and 4 months of sobriety. His daughter Isla could suddenly see the bones in his ankles and fingers. His shows are objectively better. He is present, engaged, and clear. He has a confirmed relapse date in July and he is at peace with this. The emotional center of the segment, though, is Bert's description of what sobriety costs him: the hotel room ritual of a 12-pack, dimmed lights, and a solo three-hour session with Joy Division, Radiohead, or hardcore hip-hop. It is, by his telling, a transcendent flow state that he cannot replicate sober. Tom notes that it definitely doesn't sound like he has an issue with it.
Bert Kreischer has lost 50 pounds, dropped 19% body fat, and hasn't had a drink in four months. His shows are objectively better sober. His daughter can see his ankle bones. He is planning to start drinking again in July anyway. He's at peace with all of this.
Bert Kreischer announced he has lost 50 pounds, hasn't drunk in 4 months, and his body fat percentage dropped 19%.
Bert Kreischer dropped his body fat by 19 percentage points during his sobriety-driven transformation.
Bert Kreischer has not consumed alcohol in 4 months at the time of the recording, with a planned relapse in July.
Bert Kreischer, currently sober for 4 months, delivered a genuinely moving account of what he misses most: the hotel-room ritual of a 12-pack, dimmed lights, and a deep dive into Joy Division or hardcore hip-hop, completely alone. It's a flow state. It's a spiritual experience. It is also, by all accounts, a drinking problem.
Robby Hoffman has never bought a depreciating car. She flipped a $3,600 Toyota Corolla into a $6,000 sale, used that for a Cayman, flipped it for $18,000, and bought her dream 2001 Porsche 911 for a net $10,000.
Ryan carries the Sig P365 for daily carry and a suppressed .300 Blackout rifle at home — specifically because green-tip .223 flies through human bodies and walls, risking his kids' rooms. Strickland carries the Sig P365 AXG and a PSA AR-15 in .223. They debate why .300 Blackout matters for home defense and mock Staccato owners in equal measure.
Bobby never checks a bag — for any trip, including Australia. His secret: one pair of raw denim jeans (to develop a fade), sardine cans as in-flight snacks, and a Klingon hunting knife on his keychain. Andrew questions everything. Jimmy suggests he just check a bag for two weeks.
The crew drafts their Mount Rushmore of spoon foods. Ice cream goes first overall, soup goes second, and PFT shockingly passes on cereal to take gelato (then mashed potatoes), letting Hank and Zach steal cereal in the third round — a mistake PFT immediately regrets.
At 14, Achatz's father bought a disassembled 1970 GTO for $1,400 and spent two years rebuilding it with his son using the factory manual. The project taught Grant hands-on problem-solving — the same obsessive attention to how things are put together that would later define his kitchen.
A brief promo for Points North, an NPR Network podcast from Interlochen Public Radio featuring immersive stories about the natural world around the Great Lakes.
Sony stopping physical disc production sounds alarming, but Patrick Beja points to PC gaming as the test case: the platform went fully digital via Steam, the used game market disappeared, and yet games are cheaper in real terms than they were 20 years ago thanks to constant sales. The real fight should be for digital consumer rights, not physical media.
Richard recommends Monopoly Deal (the card game version of Monopoly, faster and nastier) and Wilkie Collins's Victorian novel 'No Name', which he says is ripe for a TV adaptation. Marina recommends live tournament football — the only thing on her mind after 1 hour's sleep.
The Campaign for North Africa board game takes roughly 20 years to complete at a reasonable pace, and no one has ever actually finished it. Pierre already knows the Italian forces need extra water for pasta, which is technically accurate to the rules.
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