2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Quote · 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Nick Kroll Convinced Netflix to Air Animated Animal Sex | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Explore episode Jun 1, 2026

Where this was said

Clothes, Bert's Transformation, & Relapse Date

At 1:11:29 · chapter starts 1:04:19

The conversation starts innocuously: Nick asks whether Tom and Bert had to buy all new clothes after their weight loss. Tom's answer is practical — he overbought and then purged hundreds of items. Bert's answer expands into a full physical and psychological inventory. He is down 50 pounds, at 19% lower body fat, with perfect blood work and 4 months of sobriety. His daughter Isla could suddenly see the bones in his ankles and fingers. His shows are objectively better. He is present, engaged, and clear. He has a confirmed relapse date in July and he is at peace with this. The emotional center of the segment, though, is Bert's description of what sobriety costs him: the hotel room ritual of a 12-pack, dimmed lights, and a solo three-hour session with Joy Division, Radiohead, or hardcore hip-hop. It is, by his telling, a transcendent flow state that he cannot replicate sober. Tom notes that it definitely doesn't sound like he has an issue with it.

Health & Fitness
Bert's Poetry of Drinking Alone

Nick Kroll Convinced Netflix to Air Animated Animal Sex | 2… · Jun 1, 2026 Health & Fitness

Bert Kreischer, currently sober for 4 months, delivered a genuinely moving account of what he misses most: the hotel-room ritual of a 12-pack, dimmed lights, and a deep dive into Joy Division or hardcore hip-hop, completely alone. It's a flow state. It's a spiritual experience. It is also, by all accounts, a drinking problem.

Leisure
Nacho Figueras and the Argentina Horse Riding Disaster

Nick Kroll Convinced Netflix to Air Animated Animal Sex | 2… · Jun 1, 2026 Leisure

Nick Kroll went to polo legend Nacho Figueras' private ranch outside Buenos Aires, rode a horse beautifully for the first time in his life, felt like the coolest person on the planet, and then his face erupted in a full allergic reaction from touching the horse's mane and then his own face. His companion did not stay over.

Similar quotes