Bert sober: 4 months
Bert Kreischer has not consumed alcohol in 4 months at the time of the recording, with a planned relapse in July.
Snapshot · 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Nick Kroll Convinced Netflix to Air Animated Animal Sex | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Explore episode
Jun 1, 2026
Where this was said
Clothes, Bert's Transformation, & Relapse Date
At 1:07:23 · chapter starts 1:04:19
The conversation starts innocuously: Nick asks whether Tom and Bert had to buy all new clothes after their weight loss. Tom's answer is practical — he overbought and then purged hundreds of items. Bert's answer expands into a full physical and psychological inventory. [1] — Bert Kreischer "Bert Kreischer has lost 50 pounds, dropped 19% body fat, and hasn't had a drink in four months. His shows are objectively better sober. His…" 1:06:20 He is down 50 pounds, at 19% lower body fat, with perfect blood work and 4 months of sobriety. His daughter Isla could suddenly see the bones in his ankles and fingers. His shows are objectively better. He is present, engaged, and clear. He has a confirmed relapse date in July and he is at peace with this. The emotional center of the segment, though, is Bert's description of what sobriety costs him: the hotel room ritual of a 12-pack, dimmed lights, and a solo three-hour session with Joy Division, Radiohead, or hardcore hip-hop. It is, by his telling, a transcendent flow state that he cannot replicate sober. Tom notes that it definitely doesn't sound like he has an issue with it.
Bert Kreischer Lost 50 Pounds and Set a Relapse Date
Bert Kreischer has lost 50 pounds, dropped 19% body fat, and hasn't had a drink in four months. His shows are objectively better sober. His daughter can see his ankle bones. He is planning to start drinking again in July anyway. He's at peace with all of this.
Bert lost 50 pounds
Bert Kreischer announced he has lost 50 pounds, hasn't drunk in 4 months, and his body fat percentage dropped 19%.
Bert: 19% body fat drop
Bert Kreischer dropped his body fat by 19 percentage points during his sobriety-driven transformation.
Bert's Poetry of Drinking Alone
Bert Kreischer, currently sober for 4 months, delivered a genuinely moving account of what he misses most: the hotel-room ritual of a 12-pack, dimmed lights, and a deep dive into Joy Division or hardcore hip-hop, completely alone. It's a flow state. It's a spiritual experience. It is also, by all accounts, a drinking problem.
Nacho Figueras and the Argentina Horse Riding Disaster
Nick Kroll went to polo legend Nacho Figueras' private ranch outside Buenos Aires, rode a horse beautifully for the first time in his life, felt like the coolest person on the planet, and then his face erupted in a full allergic reaction from touching the horse's mane and then his own face. His companion did not stay over.
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