Podbit · Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Thin-lining bathing suits create a vacuum seal that causes awkward situations when getting out of the pool. The guys commiserate on the impossible position this puts you in — adjust and look suspicious, or don't adjust and look even worse.
Where this was said
At 1:44 · chapter starts 0:00
The cold open is all sponsor content — Mint Mobile leads with its straightforward wireless pitch ($15/month on T-Mobile's 5G network), followed by an unusually philosophical Blue Chew Gold spot. The Blue Chew copy makes a genuine point: the newest formula combines ingredients for blood flow and mental arousal, because 'sex is not just about being able to perform — it's about actually wanting to.' The hosts briefly break into commentary, with Matt noting that 'wanting to is extremely important for sexual intercourse' with the gravity of a medical professional, before the episode proper begins.
A broken pipe turned the Bad Friends studio into a hydrogen sulfide chamber. The crew denied smelling anything — which, as Andrew pointed out, makes their home lives deeply suspicious.
At a childhood sleepover in Sacramento, Bobby Lee's friends drew penises all over his face while he slept. He woke up, cried, and walked 7 miles down a dirt road before Eric Purvis's mom drove out to retrieve him.
On KSI's Make Me Laugh show, Bobby Lee got slapped so hard he fell and briefly blacked out — 5 minutes into the event. The rule was to use a tortilla, but the contestant used his bare hand instead.
What starts as a riff on Amber Alerts turns into an elaborate Speed remake: Bobby is a Hollywood tour guide whose bus shares a route with a kidnapper's identical bus, there's a bomb on board, and Keanu Reeves needs to be called immediately.
Their producer riffs a conspiracy theory about Lindsey Graham's death in Kyiv, which somehow leads to Bobby and Andrew discovering that every lyric of 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin secretly describes 9/11. They are disturbingly convincing.
Bobby Lee woke up Saturday morning to find three children splashing in his pool, along with a professionally hired swimming teacher — all arranged by friends who have keys to his house. His response: 'There's just too much joy here.'
Harold Ramis told a story about Caddyshack's cast doing drugs all day and night during Florida storm delays, with half their pay going to cocaine. Bobby Lee immediately wants to make that exact movie — and offers to relapse to do it.
Robby Hoffman had never heard of 'new towels.' A towel, in her world, was built with the house. When Sarah Silverman announced she'd bought new pool towels, it was a class-gap revelation.
Will Arnett pitched the perfect rich-person home for Robby: seven-hundred-thread-count sheets and brand-new towels — but a tiny, wrecked kitchen with a coil stove, chips, and Sprite. Best of both worlds.
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