Quote · SOLVED with Mark Manson
Your Questions On Manifestation, Confidence, and Getting Over Your Ex, Solved
Where this was said
Getting Over a 'Perfect' Ex
At 30:20 · chapter starts 29:50
The listener who can't get over a 'perfect' ex receives both tough love and genuine insight. Mark's first move is to invalidate the premise: they are not perfect. The idealization is the problem, not the person. He argues it damages the idealized person too — having someone believe you're flawless creates an oppressive, unreal power dynamic that most people flee. The real driver beneath the idealization, Mark suggests, is a deep personal need to believe that a perfect partner exists and is out there somewhere. Dismantling that belief is the actual work. The world contains only messy, complicated, lovable people — and a relationship built on that reality is possible and worth having. Until the pedestal is demolished, recovery is impossible.
If you think your ex was perfect, that's why you can't get over them. Putting someone on a pedestal doesn't just hurt you — it probably contributed to the relationship failing, because no one can live under that kind of pressure. There are no perfect people, only messy, lovable ones.
