Quote · The School of Greatness
Why the Wrong Person Feels Like Home | Sheleana Aiyana
Where this was said
Modern Dating, the Elder Gap, and Why People Can't Stop Swiping
At 1:09:22 · chapter starts 1:09:05
Asked why so many people struggle with relationships today, Sheleana points to social media and dating apps first: platforms designed to reduce human beings to a photo and a swipe. She describes herself as someone for whom attraction is almost entirely energetic — you cannot feel someone through a profile. The addictive mechanics of swiping compound the problem, keeping people in a state of perpetual searching rather than committing to the messy work of real partnership. She also identifies a deeper cultural loss: the disappearance of relationship elders. In previous generations, a community elder could sit with a struggling couple and help them find their way back to love. Today, that function barely exists. Media models are mostly chaos. The result is that at the first sign of difficulty, people discard relationships rather than do the work — because they have no map, no tools, and no one who has been there before them to guide the way. Her hope is that the work she and Lewis do provides that container. [1] — Sheleana Aiyana "Dating apps have turned partner selection into a photo-based shopping exercise, and the compulsive swiping has become its own addiction. Sh…" 1:09:10
Dating apps have turned partner selection into a photo-based shopping exercise, and the compulsive swiping has become its own addiction. Sheleana argues that true attraction is energetic and can't be assessed from a profile. Without elders, without healthy relationship models in media, people discard relationships at the first sign of difficulty instead of doing the work.
Sheleana Aiyana stated that compulsive swiping on dating apps has become a recognised form of addiction, contributing to poor mate selection and relational dissatisfaction.
