Sheleana Aiyana stated that compulsive swiping on dating apps has become a recognised form of addiction, contributing to poor mate selection and relational dissatisfaction.
Snapshot · The School of Greatness
Sheleana Aiyana stated that compulsive swiping on dating apps has become a recognised form of addiction, contributing to poor mate selection and relational dissatisfaction.
Where this was said
At 1:10:28 · chapter starts 1:09:05
Asked why so many people struggle with relationships today, Sheleana points to social media and dating apps first: platforms designed to reduce human beings to a photo and a swipe. She describes herself as someone for whom attraction is almost entirely energetic — you cannot feel someone through a profile. The addictive mechanics of swiping compound the problem, keeping people in a state of perpetual searching rather than committing to the messy work of real partnership. She also identifies a deeper cultural loss: the disappearance of relationship elders. In previous generations, a community elder could sit with a struggling couple and help them find their way back to love. Today, that function barely exists. Media models are mostly chaos. The result is that at the first sign of difficulty, people discard relationships rather than do the work — because they have no map, no tools, and no one who has been there before them to guide the way. Her hope is that the work she and Lewis do provides that container. [1] — Sheleana Aiyana "Dating apps have turned partner selection into a photo-based shopping exercise, and the compulsive swiping has become its own addiction. Sh…" 1:09:10
Dating apps have turned partner selection into a photo-based shopping exercise, and the compulsive swiping has become its own addiction. Sheleana argues that true attraction is energetic and can't be assessed from a profile. Without elders, without healthy relationship models in media, people discard relationships at the first sign of difficulty instead of doing the work.
Greenberg's research mapped all human intrinsic values and found they cluster into 22 categories, including longevity, connection, nature, and spirituality.
Performing composure is not the same as having composure — emotionally sensitive people who suppress their feelings are acting a role, not resolving the underlying feeling.
Emotional sensitivity is the raw input signal and emotional intelligence is the cultivated output — meaning sensitivity is a prerequisite for high EQ, not an obstacle to it.
Men who appear emotionally avoidant are frequently emotionally sensitive individuals who were never given tools or permission to explore their sensitivity, so they default to withdrawal.
Being ghosted is particularly damaging for sensitive people because their brain doesn't interpret it as the relationship ending — it interprets it as evidence of personal insufficiency.
Kierkegaard's concept of anxiety as 'the dizziness of freedom' predates Freud's psychological framework by roughly 60 years, yet modern research has since validated his core claims about commitment and identity.
Between 2003 and 2020, Americans accumulated roughly 24 extra hours per month spent alone — the equivalent of a part-time job's worth of isolation, and that's before the pandemic.
Median age at first marriage climbed from 21 (women) and 23 (men) in the 1970s to nearly 29 (women) and 30 (men) today — a rise of 6–8 years per gender, extending the 'emerging adulthood' liminal phase.
San Francisco's average rent rose 18% over the past two years to $3,728/month, surpassing New York City as the most expensive rental market in the country.
We use essential and analytics cookies to run Vuci. To understand how the site is used: Privacy Policy.
Install Vuci on your phone
Add it to your home screen for a faster, app-like experience.
Install Vuci on your phone
Tap the Share button, then “Add to Home Screen”.
A new version is available
Reload to get the latest Vuci.