Quote · The Mel Robbins Podcast
Create a Happier Version of Yourself: Redirect Your Energy for Positive Thinking
Where this was said
Takeaway 2: Are You Shrinking or Expanding?
At 31:44 · chapter starts 26:06
Mel reframes a concept usually applied to the workplace — 'quietly quitting' — as something people do to every chapter of life [1] — Mel Robbins "Crossing your arms, staying in your dorm on Friday nights, telling yourself everyone sucks — that's quietly quitting your own chapter. Oakl…" 28:31 . Oakley's version was textbook: staying in his dorm on Friday and Saturday nights, dreading the weekends, trying a club or party once and retreating the moment it felt awkward, telling himself the experiment had failed. Mel did the same in Vermont — spending time with her equally-miserable friends Amy and Jesse, watching old friends on social media as if she were watching them sail away on a party barge. Both were choosing to be right about the situation being wrong rather than trying to make it work. The advice that emerges is twofold: you have to give a new chapter at least a year before judging it, and during that year you need to be a 'yes' — expansive, uncrossed, open. Oakley's turning point came in January when he stopped waiting and started acting.
Quietly quitting — crossing your arms, withdrawing, and waiting for things to get better — is the opposite of what is needed when you're in a new chapter.
Crossing your arms, staying in your dorm on Friday nights, telling yourself everyone sucks — that's quietly quitting your own chapter. Oakley did it for 18 months. The antidote isn't waiting for things to click; it's saying yes to everything for a full year and checking your energy daily.
Mel Robbins and Oakley agreed that trying something once and quitting is not enough — you need to give a new chapter a full year before judging it.
In January of his sophomore year, Oakley rejoined the Frisbee team he'd quit, went to every party, texted every mutual, and got lunch with strangers. Within months he had close friends and loved college. The lesson: when you stop comparing and start saying yes, the accumulation of small yeses changes everything.
