Snapshot · Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships
Dedeker Winston observed that each on-again/off-again cycle digs the 'security hole' of the relationship a little deeper, compounding attachment instability with every reconciliation and split.
Where this was said
At 32:55 · chapter starts 29:55
Emily shifts to the documented costs of relationship churning, citing a 2009 University of Texas at Austin study of 445 college students — two-thirds of whom had experienced an on-again/off-again relationship. Those couples reported significantly lower feelings of love and understanding compared to those in stable relationships. [1] — Emily Matlack "On-again/off-again reduces love & understanding: A 2009 University of Texas study of 445 college students found on-again/off-again partners…" 30:40 Jace proposes an alternative read: perhaps the low positivity scores aren't just a product of the churning, but a cause — people may be cycling back not because the relationship was great, but because being alone felt worse or because self-esteem left them feeling there were no better options. Dedeker adds the repair-debt framing that opened the episode: getting back together isn't a neutral restart but a relationship that begins already carrying the pain of having been dumped or dumped someone, creating a 'laundry list' of work before the connection can even feel stable. [2] — Dedeker Winston "Repair debt when getting back together: Getting back together with an ex isn't a clean reset — there is a 'laundry list' of repair work inc…" 31:50 Each cycle compounds this, digging the attachment-security hole a little deeper every time.
A 2009 University of Texas study of 445 college students found that people in on-again/off-again relationships reported significantly less love, stability, and understanding than those in consistently stable relationships. The cycle itself — not just the incompatibility — seems to corrode connection.
A 2009 University of Texas study of 445 college students found on-again/off-again partners reported significantly less love and understanding than those in stable relationships.
Getting back together with an ex isn't a clean reset — there is a 'laundry list' of repair work including processing past pain like having been dumped, meaning the relationship starts slightly in the negative.
Rekindling with an ex means taking on a substantial repair job before the relationship can even feel neutral. There's the work of diagnosing what went wrong, but also the raw emotional reality that someone did the dumping — and that wounds don't vanish when you get back together.
A 2009 qualitative follow-up study found that participants returned to exes not because the original relationship improved, but because new dating experiences felt worse by comparison.
A 2009 qualitative study found that people often went back to exes not because the relationship had improved, but because new dating experiences were simply disappointing by comparison. It's settling upward from a bad situation, not choosing the right person.
Mental health challenges are nearly universal — BetterHelp's own research found the majority of Americans experiencing symptoms right now.
When applying for Medicaid to cover nursing home costs, there is a 5-year look-back period that can disqualify applicants who gave away or spent down assets.
A broken pipe filled the Bad Friends studio with what the hosts identified as hydrogen sulfide — microscopic fecal aeroparticles — that the crew denied smelling.
Fei-Fei Li's father's liver surgery performed by a da Vinci robot resulted in 10 times less blood loss than a typical open liver surgery, thanks to laparoscopic precision.
Approximately 115 million adults in the US currently have prediabetes, most of whom are unaware, according to the Lingo sponsor segment.
Drug overdose deaths in the US fell from 110,000 to 80,000 in 2024, and then to roughly 70,000 — the largest single-year drop the CDC has ever recorded.
Men's overdose death rate fell 27% in a single year, outpacing the 23% drop for women.
The steepest decline in overdose deaths was among 15–24-year-olds, whose rate fell 37%.
Fei-Fei Li observed that on a given hospital shift, nurses walk miles just to fetch medicine and supplies, illustrating a clear use case for assistive robotics in healthcare.
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