Podbit · Pardon My Take
Zach went to a boat movie, had 'social drinks,' did a bar crawl home, hit a nightclub he'd never been to, got Taco Bell, popped a nicotine pouch, cracked a Diet Pepsi in bed — and woke up soaked in it with sticky sheets and his phone wet, then came straight to work without showering.
Where this was said
At 1:00:05 · chapter starts 50:36
Zach's Who's Back is a full-blown comedy short story. It begins with a nautical movie screening — watching the film Mutiny on an actual boat with boat sounds — paired with 'social drinks,' escalates through an impromptu bar crawl, detours through a previously undiscovered nightclub, arrives at Taco Bell, and ends with Zach falling asleep mid-sip of a 24-ounce Diet Pepsi and waking up drenched in it. He then came to work without showering. The crew is equal parts horrified and delighted. A secondary Who's Back involves new Giants head coach Mike Vrabel carrying a dog to his first media availability, which PFT notes was transparently designed as a PR shield for a coach with a complicated recent reputation — but which everyone agrees was genius.
Tony Romo was arrested for an OWI in Milwaukee while competing in the Wisconsin Amateur golf tournament, where he shot 35-over. PFT brilliantly notes Wisconsin's first OWI is only a civil fine — making it 'Fisher-Price, My First DUI.'
Tony Romo was arrested for an OWI (operating while intoxicated) in Milwaukee while competing in the Wisconsin Amateur golf tournament, where he shot 35-over.
In Wisconsin, a first OWI offense is merely a civil penalty — a fine, not a criminal charge — which the hosts humorously called 'Fisher-Price, My First DUI.'
49ers head coach Kyle Shanahan was involved in a serious car crash on July 14th, suffering broken ribs and a severe concussion, but the news was withheld for nearly two weeks.
The NFL is officially back. PFT declares this the last Monday show without on-field football until after the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Patrick Mahomes's rehabbing left knee looks noticeably smaller than his right, and Brandon Aiyuk bought a $10M house in Northern Virginia for no apparent reason.
A broken pipe turned the Bad Friends studio into a hydrogen sulfide chamber. The crew denied smelling anything — which, as Andrew pointed out, makes their home lives deeply suspicious.
At a childhood sleepover in Sacramento, Bobby Lee's friends drew penises all over his face while he slept. He woke up, cried, and walked 7 miles down a dirt road before Eric Purvis's mom drove out to retrieve him.
On KSI's Make Me Laugh show, Bobby Lee got slapped so hard he fell and briefly blacked out — 5 minutes into the event. The rule was to use a tortilla, but the contestant used his bare hand instead.
What starts as a riff on Amber Alerts turns into an elaborate Speed remake: Bobby is a Hollywood tour guide whose bus shares a route with a kidnapper's identical bus, there's a bomb on board, and Keanu Reeves needs to be called immediately.
Their producer riffs a conspiracy theory about Lindsey Graham's death in Kyiv, which somehow leads to Bobby and Andrew discovering that every lyric of 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin secretly describes 9/11. They are disturbingly convincing.
Bobby Lee woke up Saturday morning to find three children splashing in his pool, along with a professionally hired swimming teacher — all arranged by friends who have keys to his house. His response: 'There's just too much joy here.'
Harold Ramis told a story about Caddyshack's cast doing drugs all day and night during Florida storm delays, with half their pay going to cocaine. Bobby Lee immediately wants to make that exact movie — and offers to relapse to do it.
Robby Hoffman had never heard of 'new towels.' A towel, in her world, was built with the house. When Sarah Silverman announced she'd bought new pool towels, it was a class-gap revelation.
Will Arnett pitched the perfect rich-person home for Robby: seven-hundred-thread-count sheets and brand-new towels — but a tiny, wrecked kitchen with a coil stove, chips, and Sprite. Best of both worlds.
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