Podbit · Smosh Reads Reddit Stories
A man channeled a famous viral clip — barging in on someone who didn't flush — and used his loudest Scottish accent to re-enact it in his boyfriend's home office. His boyfriend was presenting to his entire company on a video call. The sign on the door had been forgotten.
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At 49:20 · chapter starts 38:35
The final Reddit story is also the wildest. The narrator is an openly gay man who has been friends with a coworker named Robert for four years. Robert has five children — four blonde boys who look just like him and a new daughter with curly red hair like her mother Danielle. The narrator, himself a redhead, jokes that 'the red is alive' upon meeting the baby. Robert never lets it go. For weeks he complains his daughter doesn't look like him, escalating to a full breakdown at work where he accuses Danielle of cheating and points directly at the narrator — openly gay, male fiancé, pride stickers all over his car — as the culprit. After the narrator tells Danielle what happened, Robert is kicked out. He then tracks down the narrator's partner Elliott and calls with threatening voicemails. The paternity test proceeds. The group notes that Robert's entire meltdown is built on not understanding how genetics work, and Jared identifies a specific form of straight-male narcissism — the belief that a gay man might be faking his orientation to covertly access a straight man's wife. [1] — Shayne Topp "Robert, convinced his wife was cheating, pointed across the factory floor at his openly gay colleague — a man with a male fiancé and pride …" 38:35
Robert, convinced his wife was cheating, pointed across the factory floor at his openly gay colleague — a man with a male fiancé and pride stickers all over his car — and demanded a paternity test. The accusation destroyed Robert's marriage, spawned threatening voicemails, and ended with a Reddit post explaining why the gay man texted the wife directly.
A gay man with a male fiancé and pride stickers on his car was accused by a paranoid coworker of fathering his redheaded daughter, leading to a demanded paternity test, a destroyed marriage, and threatening voicemails.
Jared Goldstein articulated something rarely named: a brand of straight male narcissism where a man convinces himself a gay person might be faking their orientation in order to covertly access his partner. It's not just ignorance — it's a collision of homophobia, sexism, and profound insecurity.
Chanse McCrary recounted how straight guys in middle school gym assumed he was pretending to be gay as a clever strategy to hang out with girls — when he was just being himself.
A broken pipe turned the Bad Friends studio into a hydrogen sulfide chamber. The crew denied smelling anything — which, as Andrew pointed out, makes their home lives deeply suspicious.
At a childhood sleepover in Sacramento, Bobby Lee's friends drew penises all over his face while he slept. He woke up, cried, and walked 7 miles down a dirt road before Eric Purvis's mom drove out to retrieve him.
On KSI's Make Me Laugh show, Bobby Lee got slapped so hard he fell and briefly blacked out — 5 minutes into the event. The rule was to use a tortilla, but the contestant used his bare hand instead.
What starts as a riff on Amber Alerts turns into an elaborate Speed remake: Bobby is a Hollywood tour guide whose bus shares a route with a kidnapper's identical bus, there's a bomb on board, and Keanu Reeves needs to be called immediately.
Their producer riffs a conspiracy theory about Lindsey Graham's death in Kyiv, which somehow leads to Bobby and Andrew discovering that every lyric of 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin secretly describes 9/11. They are disturbingly convincing.
Bobby Lee woke up Saturday morning to find three children splashing in his pool, along with a professionally hired swimming teacher — all arranged by friends who have keys to his house. His response: 'There's just too much joy here.'
Harold Ramis told a story about Caddyshack's cast doing drugs all day and night during Florida storm delays, with half their pay going to cocaine. Bobby Lee immediately wants to make that exact movie — and offers to relapse to do it.
Robby Hoffman had never heard of 'new towels.' A towel, in her world, was built with the house. When Sarah Silverman announced she'd bought new pool towels, it was a class-gap revelation.
Will Arnett pitched the perfect rich-person home for Robby: seven-hundred-thread-count sheets and brand-new towels — but a tiny, wrecked kitchen with a coil stove, chips, and Sprite. Best of both worlds.
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