Young male sexlessness doubled
About 31% of men aged 18-24 reported zero sexual activity in the past year as of 2024, more than double the ~15-16% recorded in the early 2000s.
Snapshot · SOLVED with Mark Manson
Dating, Solved: Why Finding the Right Person Feels So Hard
Explore episode
Feb 4, 2026
Where this was said
The Modern Dating Crisis: Statistics and Structural Causes
At 1:46:48 · chapter starts 1:00:48
Drew takes the wheel for a data-heavy segment that makes the scale of the problem visceral. 42% of US adults are currently unpartnered — an all-time high. [1] — Drew "42% of US adults unpartnered: 42% of US adults are currently unpartnered, an all-time high, reflecting what researchers call a 'romantic re…" 1:44:09 Weekly sexual activity has fallen from 55% of adults in 1990 to 37% in 2024. 31% of men aged 18-24 report zero sexual activity in the past year, more than double the rate from the early 2000s. 25% of Americans reach 40 having never married. The average date costs $168, with Gen Z spending closer to $200 despite having less money. 71% of Democrats say they'd reject a Trump supporter as a date; 47% of Republicans say the same about Biden/Clinton voters. The causes are structural: dating apps designed to keep users addicted rather than matched, the erosion of third places, a culture of ghosting and breadcrumbing, and the 4B movement in South Korea where women are forgoing dating entirely. But Drew is cautiously optimistic: run clubs explicitly for singles, curated age-gated social events, and app innovations like Thursday (messaging only on Thursdays) suggest people are experimenting with solutions.
Life expectancy in 1840 was 35
Life expectancy in 1840 was only about 35 years, meaning the modern expectation of a lifelong romantic partnership is a very recent invention.
42% of US adults unpartnered
42% of US adults are currently unpartnered, an all-time high, reflecting what researchers call a 'romantic recession.'
The Modern Dating Crisis in Numbers
42% of US adults are unpartnered — an all-time high. Weekly sex has fallen from 55% of adults in 1990 to 37% in 2024. And 31% of men aged 18-24 report zero sexual activity in the past year, more than double the rate from the early 2000s. This isn't a vibe — it's a measurable collapse in romantic connection.
25% of Americans reach 40 never married
25% of Americans now reach age 40 having never been married — an all-time high, up 5 percentage points in less than 10 years.
Weekly sex down from 55% to 37%
Weekly sexual activity among US adults dropped from 55% in 1990 to 37% in 2024, a dramatic decline across all age groups.
Average date costs $168
Survey data shows the average date now costs $168, with Gen Z spending closer to $200 despite having less money.
Burnout from dating: saving ~$4,000/year by quitting
Some people have calculated they save approximately $4,000 a year by opting out of dating entirely, given that the average annual spend on dating exceeds $2,000.
71% of Democrats reject Trump supporters
71% of Democrats say they would reject a Trump supporter as a potential date, versus 47% of Republicans who would reject a Biden/Clinton voter.
Similar snapshots
22 categories of intrinsic values
Greenberg's research mapped all human intrinsic values and found they cluster into 22 categories, including longevity, connection, nature, and spirituality.
Suppression ≠ strength
Performing composure is not the same as having composure — emotionally sensitive people who suppress their feelings are acting a role, not resolving the underlying feeling.
Sensitivity = input; emotional intelligence = output
Emotional sensitivity is the raw input signal and emotional intelligence is the cultivated output — meaning sensitivity is a prerequisite for high EQ, not an obstacle to it.
Emotionally avoidant men often secretly sensitive
Men who appear emotionally avoidant are frequently emotionally sensitive individuals who were never given tools or permission to explore their sensitivity, so they default to withdrawal.
Ghosting triggers 'I am insufficient' narrative
Being ghosted is particularly damaging for sensitive people because their brain doesn't interpret it as the relationship ending — it interprets it as evidence of personal insufficiency.
Kierkegaard coined 'anxiety' 60+ years before Freud
Kierkegaard's concept of anxiety as 'the dizziness of freedom' predates Freud's psychological framework by roughly 60 years, yet modern research has since validated his core claims about commitment and identity.
Americans gained 24 extra hours/month alone (2003–2020)
Between 2003 and 2020, Americans accumulated roughly 24 extra hours per month spent alone — the equivalent of a part-time job's worth of isolation, and that's before the pandemic.
Median marriage age rose 6–8 years per gender since 1970s
Median age at first marriage climbed from 21 (women) and 23 (men) in the 1970s to nearly 29 (women) and 30 (men) today — a rise of 6–8 years per gender, extending the 'emerging adulthood' liminal phase.
SF average rent up 18% in 2 years
San Francisco's average rent rose 18% over the past two years to $3,728/month, surpassing New York City as the most expensive rental market in the country.
