Right out of the gate, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino are confronted with a genuine crisis: their studio stinks of raw sewage from a broken pipe. The crew, apparently briefed in advance, unanimously denies smelling anything — a bit of gaslighting that sends Andrew spiraling into a Google search confirming that poop smell means you're inhaling hydrogen sulfide. The hosts declare they need to evacuate, joking that the studio air is essentially weaponized. It's a fittingly chaotic start to an episode that will rarely slow down.

The conversation quickly pivots to politics when Andrew announces that his personal 'MCU of villains' is collapsing: Mitch McConnell is in the hospital (Andrew's Penguin) and Lindsey Graham has died (his Riddler). A photo of McConnell with a Chinese official goes under the microscope, with Andrew and Bobby picking apart suspicious visual artifacts — a mystery figure under blankets, mismatched lighting — and concluding it must be an AI composite. The whole exchange is delivered with the energy of amateur detectives discovering something they were probably better off not knowing.

Joel McHale's podcast clip about Danny Bonaduce being a difficult Soup guest sets off a surprisingly deep economics-of-Hollywood conversation. Andrew reveals the SAG-AFTRA app lets you track residual payments in real time; he's got $58 incoming from Warner Brothers. Bobby, meanwhile, suspects his MadTV residuals were lost to contract paperwork — while someone else is probably cashing those checks. The segment ends with a fond detour into Crystal Flanagan and Bobby's infamous on-set fart story, which is apparently why her photo is still the MadTV thumbnail. ^{[1] — Andrew Santino "The SAG-AFTRA residuals app is a window into the strange economy of old TV. Bobby Lee likely never got his MadTV checks because of missing …" 02:18 Play}

The hosts trade deeply embarrassing childhood sleepover stories with the casual honesty that defines the show. Bobby's is the standout: friends drew penises all over his face at a Sacramento sleepover, he woke up humiliated, refused to stay, and walked roughly 7 miles down a dirt road before Eric Purvis's mom tracked him down and drove him home. Andrew's contribution is marginally less scarring: he used to hold his claustrophobic best friend Sean under a blanket until he cried. Both hosts agree these are 'club behaviors' — things that seem normal until someone ends up sobbing. ^{[1] — Bobby Lee "At a childhood sleepover in Sacramento, Bobby Lee's friends drew penises all over his face while he slept. He woke up, cried, and walked 7 …" 05:20 Play}

The episode title 'Tortilla Face' gets its origin story here. On KSI's Make Me Laugh challenge, contestants were supposed to slap Bobby with a tortilla — but one guy used his bare hand, hit Bobby hard enough to send him stumbling backward, and Bobby briefly blacked out. Andrew recounts the chaos of watching people try to be funny on command: an old woman with a cane who threw it mid-story, a girl who stole the cane and won, and a guy who set up a piece of bread and let it fall. Bobby's philosophy: if the bread isn't a croissant and you're not in France, it's not funny. ^{[1] — Andrew Santino "On KSI's Make Me Laugh show, Bobby Lee got slapped so hard he fell and briefly blacked out — 5 minutes into the event. The rule was to use …" 10:08 Play}

Coming off the KSI experience, Andrew makes what he insists is a genuine proposal: a semester at clown school in France, inspired by a conversation with comedian Zack Zucker. Bobby agrees immediately. The segment pivots to a viral video Andrew pulls up of Chinese men playing a blindfolded whipping game with rubber duck shoes — pure joy that both hosts want to replicate in the studio. It's a window into what the show at its most playful looks like: two middle-aged comedians who are sincerely excited about duck shoes and physical comedy curricula. ^{[1] — Andrew Santino "After the KSI show exposed how hard physical comedy really is, Andrew Santino sincerely proposed doing a semester at clown school in France…" 11:25 Play}

A late-night Thai food digression gives both hosts a chance to reveal their true food allegiances. Andrew mocks his wife's tom kha soup obsession ('lemongrass smells like wet feet grass') while declaring Thai his new number one. Bobby counters with his true loyalty: El Mirch, the Indian restaurant they both love but Andrew doesn't want to blow up by naming on air. Bobby only gets vegetable samosas. Andrew gets garlic naan. They both get two curries. The story of taking a Swedish tourist to Jitlada Thai Town and watching him start sweating and speaking with an Asian accent four seconds into the heat is the segment's comedic peak.

Bobby reveals his girlfriend wants to take him to a wedding in the woods of Wisconsin, and Andrew's response is instantaneous: 'Have you seen Get Out?' The joke writes itself — Bobby plays out the transformation scene where he slowly becomes Bradley Whitford — but it opens a genuine appreciation for Whitford's career across West Wing, Studio 60, and The Handmaid's Tale. Andrew's Nobu Malibu paparazzi story, where a photographer glances at him and immediately turns back to whoever the real celebrity is, adds a note of self-deprecating reality to the fame-adjacent conversation.

Bobby declares Widow's Bay the best show on television — an Apple TV+ comedy-horror from producer Colton Dunn (Key & Peele, MadTV) and Katie Tiphold. Andrew knows Dunn from his MADtv days, which triggers his Superstore audition story: he got in the room before anyone told him the character was a wheelchair user, and his instinct was to go all-in. Predictably, he didn't get it. Director Hiro Murai's involvement in Widow's Bay gets confirmed after some enthusiastic wrong-Asian photo confusion. The whole stretch is a warm meditation on the weird talent ecosystem they move through daily.

The hosts work through three sponsor reads with their characteristic looseness. The Acorns read leans into Bobby's regret about not saving earlier in his career, with the app's $5 signup bonus and 14 million user stats as the headline. The Smalls cat food read lets Bobby mention his three cats — Gunner, Me, and Bojo — and lament their lack of toned muscles. Talkspace gets the most earnest treatment, with Bobby sharing he had therapy earlier that day and noting that processing trauma through talk therapy prevents it from becoming physical illness later.

A simple joke about getting an Amber Alert while driving quickly expands into a full geopolitical comedy sketch. Fancy drops the Ebony Alert fact — California's Black-youth missing persons system, active since January 2024, which neither host knew about — and the racial humor that follows walks a tightrope the show navigates with practiced ease. Then Andrew and Bobby co-write a Speed parody in real time: Bobby's Chinese Hollywood tour bus gets confused with a kidnapper's identical vehicle, there's a bomb, he calls Keanu Reeves, and two different missing-person alerts are somehow on board. It's chaotic, funny, and somehow lands. ^{[1] — Bobby Lee "What starts as a riff on Amber Alerts turns into an elaborate Speed remake: Bobby is a Hollywood tour guide whose bus shares a route with a…" 24:50 Play}

Andrew Santino's upcoming Europe trip uncovers a surprise: Americans now need to apply for a UK Electronic Travel Authorisation for $20, a change that went into effect in January 2025. The hosts riff on the broader trend of paying for access to things that used to be free — national parks, air, basic entry — and pivot to a proposal to bottle and sell the studio's sewage-pipe air as a premium product. Bobby suggests selling his fingerprint molds as alibi-generating tools, which Andrew immediately develops into a murder-cover-up business model. The segment is a compact example of how the show moves from real news to absurdist product concepts in seconds.

Bobby Lee surprises Andrew by correctly identifying the geopolitical chain connecting Strait of Hormuz tensions to Coca-Cola price hikes: aluminum. Aluminum Bahrain, one of the world's largest smelters, cut output 10–19%, sending aluminum prices to multi-year highs and making every Coke can more expensive. The 'forever war' tangent that follows is genuinely interesting: Andrew argues no American war actually finishes, using Vietnam as his example — the US didn't lose, it just 'went home,' which is, as he notes, the American way of pretending you're not losing. Bobby's retort that Vietnam wasn't even officially a 'war' adds the punctuation.

Bobby Lee's rewatch of Godzilla Minus One surfaces a genuine moral puzzle: the protagonist's defining choice is refusing a kamikaze suicide mission — which, Bobby notes, makes it hard to root for him once you really think about it in the context of Japanese wartime honor culture. Andrew pivots to his own recent Little Tokyo trip with family, where they took in the perpetual Comic-Con atmosphere of anime cosplayers and figurine shops. He found a one-of-a-kind Godzilla piece that would be perfect for the studio — but circumstances prevented him from buying it that day. He promises he'll go back.

Bobby Lee's first real disagreement with his girlfriend was about whether to park in the jewelry district downtown — Bobby refused given the break-in risk. Andrew immediately pivots to mocking their producer Fancy's car, which is allegedly so contaminated with antifungal cream, old food, and mystery substances that it qualifies as a biohazard. Fancy confirms he's a hoarder but defends his apartment with the key detail that he has enough candles to mask everything — specifically positioned for when women come over. The exchange ends with Bobby and Andrew agreeing Fancy gives strong 'John Doe from Seven' energy.

Andrew leads the Ultra read with a science angle: nicotine constricts blood vessels and counteracts workout pump, making Ultra's nicotine-free nootropic pouches a smarter alternative for athletes. The 15% discount code is BADFRIENDS at takeultra.com. DraftKings gets the standard energetic read — the app is now in all 50 states, Fight Night is the hook, and new customers spending $5 get $150 in rewards within 14 days with code BADFRIENDS.

Bobby trips over his words trying to express excitement about Factor meals, and Andrew covers by pivoting to the 50%-off promo. Then a throwaway line about exorcism sends them down a Latin rabbit hole: Fancy reveals his dad enrolled him in Latin at school in 2001, he failed it, and 9/11 happened during that semester. Andrew and Bobby immediately construct a conspiracy narrative in which Fancy's poorly recited Latin conjured Middle Eastern terrorists onto a plane. It's the kind of casual, escalating absurdity the show does best, and it segues directly into the Aladdin 9/11 segment.

Fancy's Lindsey Graham conspiracy — death at a Kyiv bathhouse rave, lured by whispered Disney movie references — is the ignition point for one of the episode's best bits. Andrew floats the idea that Aladdin's 'A Whole New World' predicted 9/11, and what starts as a throwaway joke becomes an increasingly convincing lyric-by-lyric breakdown: 'tumbling towers,' 'soaring planes,' 'over sideways and under' (Building 7), and 'a whole new world' for the aftermath. Bobby even adds harmonics. By the end, Osama bin Laden is effectively credited as a Disney lyricist. ^{[1] — Andrew Santino "Their producer riffs a conspiracy theory about Lindsey Graham's death in Kyiv, which somehow leads to Bobby and Andrew discovering that eve…" 47:00 Play}

The segment meanders through Donkey Kong nostalgia (Andrew wanted to conquer every level as a kid; the new Switch 2 version lets you destroy them), then lands on paparazzi culture. Bobby's peak paparazzi moment was a single TMZ shot at Elefante in Santa Monica on a rainy night — soaking wet and visibly heavier — which he looks at now with a mix of amusement and relief at how different he looks. Andrew's story is the inverse: at Nobu Malibu, a photographer glanced at him, said 'hey, what's up,' and immediately turned back to photograph whoever actually mattered. The fan-at-dinner protocol debate is real: Andrew would rather have a meal with his wife undisturbed; Bobby signs every photo no matter what.

In an unusually candid moment, Fancy pushes back on Andrew's dismissal of his Eric Andre clip search, articulating clearly that being made fun of in front of colleagues by the person who signs your paycheck — even in a comedy context — is genuinely demoralizing. Andrew hears it and the exchange resolves quickly, but it's a rare instance of real workplace friction surfacing on air. Bobby, characteristically, tries to smooth it over with cash for the iced coffee he still owes Fancy. The whole thing lasts about two minutes and manages to be both funny and oddly human.

Bobby recounts the surreal Saturday morning of walking out to three small children in his pool, accompanied by a professional swimming teacher, all organized by Esther Provinsky and Kalila using keys they apparently just have to his house. His out-loud declaration — 'there's just too much joy here' — captures the core tension: he's genuinely touched watching Dave King hold his baby and say 'Daddy, hold me,' but the weight of being responsible for a small human still feels like too much. Andrew argues Bobby would be a completely different and better person as a father. Bobby isn't fully convinced but is clearly thinking about it. ^{[1] — Bobby Lee "Bobby Lee woke up Saturday morning to find three children splashing in his pool, along with a professionally hired swimming teacher — all a…" 57:30 Play}

Andrew and Bobby take the fatherhood conversation to its logical conclusion: could they adopt together and timeshare the child? Fancy looks it up — private adoption runs $40,000–$70,000, foster care just $0–$2,000. Bobby is interested in the foster route. The conversation pivots to Kay Classman, a 28-year-old woman arrested for repeatedly enrolling in Bronx high schools as a 16-year-old across multiple districts. The detail that makes it dark: she wasn't a predator. She was just lonely and trying to reclaim a childhood that didn't go well. Andrew sees a movie in it. Bobby pitches himself going back to high school as the now-famous comedian reclaiming his reputation — basically 22 and a Half Jump Street. ^{[1] — Andrew Santino "Private adoption costs $40,000–$70,000: Private domestic infant and international adoptions typically cost $40,000 to $70,000, while foster…" 1:01:45 Play [2] — Andrew Santino "Kay Classman, 28, posed as a 16-year-old student: Kay Classman, a 28-year-old woman, was arrested for repeatedly enrolling in a Bronx high …" 1:02:20 Play}

The episode closes with Andrew sharing Harold Ramis's account of making Caddyshack: storms trapped the cast in a Florida hotel for days, during which they did drugs around the clock and used half their production money on cocaine. The result was a classic, which both hosts find deeply inspiring from a creative-process standpoint. Bobby's immediate offer to relapse for the right project is delivered with enough sincerity that Andrew has to tell him no. The final movie pitch — Jaws with cocaine, where the boat never leaves the port because everyone's too busy doing blow — circles back to the Amber Alert and Kimchi Alert movie ideas from earlier. They sign off still mid-bit, as usual. ^{[1] — Andrew Santino "Harold Ramis told a story about Caddyshack's cast doing drugs all day and night during Florida storm delays, with half their pay going to c…" 1:04:28 Play}